Swept Away
by CocoBeans
Summary: Same ploy: Girl dropped into ME, meets Legolas, blah, blah, blah, but one problem: she's in the first hundred years of the Third Age. But will she be stuck in her Pj's forever? Will the Dwarves come kill her? And will Haldir go insane because of her?
1. My Backyard

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Haldir, and Elrohir, and Elladen, and Legolas..... but I don't :(  I only own the things you don't recognise.

A/N: Came from my watching of Alice in Wonderland. Hee hee! Except, she ain't blonde! Yeah... too many blonds already in this story. No need for anymore blonds.  Besides I always write about brunettes so I'll just stick to that.

It's sorta revised... not that much, but the plot's changed much and so has the narration and dialogue. 

*~**~*

Ever wanted something so bad that you would do almost anything to achieve it? That is how passionately I feel towards Lord of The Rings. How painful it is to be trapped in my life enable to travel to the mystical and wonderous land of Middle-Earth. To listen to the ethereal music of Howard Shore and feel sadness, happiness or fear as each track plays in my head; my longing grows stronger each second, minute, hour and day. To beg my parents everyday for the movie, yet I have enough money myself but cannot buy it without their consent. To long for the Lord of The Rings commercials so that I can forget my problems and leave this world behind.... 

I guess I do leave sometimes, when I daydream of course... but that's not good enough for me. I want to hear the Elves sing, see the vastness and beauty of Rivendell, I want to live; to seek adventure! I don't want to be trapped in this life of mine. To grow up going to school each day just to come back home with homework. For 12 years this process lasts, then it repeats itself; this time, with more freedom. Then you reach adulthood and take on responsibilities, a job, kids, marriage and other stressful things. By the time you don't work anymore, you are old, not too old for adventure... but your imagination may have taken its toll. 

Then when you look back upon your life, you realize that you never did keep that promise to yourself of going to New Zealand or the Alps to live your childhood dream of living Middle-Earth. You then realize that you've spent your whole life contributing to the economy, for another generation of humans that will eventually destroy this - literally- perfect planet. Of course your life was not horrible - in fact it was great, you've had your good times as well as bad... but an annoying feeling in your gut stills lingers in your mind. 

I wasn't willing to do that.... how I longed for Middle-Earth! But life goes on, and I knew that as I dreamed of Legolas, or Pippin or Lothlorien; tomorrow I will still go to school, face the same teachers and come back with the same amount of back-aching homework. 

I sighed, and decided that a cup of water would do the best for me at the moment being. I got up from my desk and trudged my way to the kitchen. Trying to search for a clean cup in the dark wasn't very effective or very smart, but I did not care of that matter. I was more engrossed in the thought of how to pronounce 'Thranduil' , whether to say thran-du-IL, or thran-dool, I didn't know. But that was definitely going on my 'Questions to ask Legolas' list. 

After what seemed like eternity I finally got a glass of water into my hands. 

Not wanting to go back up to my Lord of The Rings themed computer, I decided to head downstairs to my backyard. I slid along my dark house silently; I didn't want to wake my parents, they'd just tell me to go to bed. I opened the screen door dividing me from my destination and stepped out into the cold hard pavement. Gliding to a lawn chair I sat contently watching the stars and the moon. I always did stupid things like this, for God's sake! it was the middle of the night! but I didn't care, I didn't want to sleep. Not yet. 

I pulled my hands into my pajama sleeves as the cold night air of October found me. I closed my eyes and imagined the myself in Ithilien, free to go where I please. All of a sudden I heard a rustle in the nearby and when I turned to look, I found a snow white bunny staring back at me. 'Wha? There aren't suppose to be any wild bunnies in this part of the world. Nor SNOW WHITE bunnies.' I thought to myself. But I was only able to have a brief glance at it, as the rabbit quickly sped away as if in a hurry....

I must have fallen asleep for when I awoke it was morning, and the soft chirps of songbirds rang in my ears. 

But when I opened my eyes I found that I wasn't in my backyard anymore, nor was I seated upon my lawn chair I lay in the middle of a dense forest on soft green grass. 'This must be a dream.' I thought. I pinched myself. "Ouch!" So... I wasn't dreaming. Did you ever realize... like when you think about it, you hardly ever have the conciousness to pinch yourself in a dream? It seems like the whole idea slips your mind. I've only pinched myself once in a dream... it felt weird, sorta like pinching yourself when your leg's fallen asleep. It doesn't hurt, just a numb feeling. 

Slowly I rose from where I had lay and viewed my surroundings. Judging by the leaves, I realized that I was in a forest of Maple trees. "Well, that didn't help much." I mused. Maple trees grew in many places from North America to most of Europe. 

"I'm probably in Middle-Earth!" I laughed. "Besides, where else would I be?" 

Being the unbelievable smart-ass that I am, I looked up at the sun to try and figure out which direction to go or maybe what time it was... not that it would help my case. 

It had barely risen, and east lay right in front of me. 'Or perhaps its setting.... how was I to be so sure that it was morning?' a little voice in my head asked. 'Cause genius! birds usually sing in the morning and if it were dusk, would the sky be so bright?' another replied. I shrugged. Fair enough. 

"Now... it should be around...  morning." I muttered. Hence the knowledge I recieved from my times of not replacing the battery for my watch, wow I figured out it was morning! So smart! (sarcasm! Sarcasm! SARCASM!) 

I guess secretly, I, too, hoped that I would suddenly mysteriously drop into Middle-Earth and - by some strange turn of events - find out that I was either an Elf or Half-Elf, and have all these funky powers and kick ass and win Legolas' heart... Now wouldn't that have been nice? But it hasn't happened yet now has it? I'm still short, clumsy and do not possess any funky powers.

Frankly I hate Mary Sues, I hate them! They all know how to shoot an arrow, ride a horse, be an experienced and deadly warrior and they seem to know EVERYTHING! Well what about us girls who DON'T know how to do those things? Sure, I knew how to skate, speak a BIT of French, and also a good artist. So? What good does THAT do me? I've had dreams where I'm riding a horse - I always seem to fall off. And I have my OTHER faults... like I couldn't fight for beans, so if I really WAS in Middle-Earth I'd be dead in a second if I were up against a couple of orcs. I'd probably kill myself tripping over rocks or twigs before the orcs even get to me. Oi! 

So now you ask why I'm so knowledgeable in the field of the sun and the trees. 

Well, as for the trees thing, I can only identify um.... four types of trees. Maple, cause I have a Maple tree right in front of my house. Birch, because it has white-ish, silver-ish bark. Pine. Who couldn't? And Willow because I used to love to swing on its vines. 

As for the sun, my window faces east so I wake up everyday with the sun in my eyes. Besides its practically common sense to know that the sun rises from the east and sets in the west.

"North!" I announced and headed in that direction. Careful not to step on anything sharp - as I am going barefoot - I slowly make my way through the forest taking in all that I see. Thoughts of happiness filled my head and daydreams of what I would say to the Fellowship - to Legolas - occupied my attention. But little did I know of the possibility that they may not have even been born yet for I could've dropped into any time, any century, any age.

"_Dilio_!" A tenor voice called. I was so deep within my thoughts that I didn't notice the circle of Elves that surrounded me until that blond Elf yelled something. 

I gazed up to find numerous arrows pointed at me, then taking a more acute observation I realized that before me was Haldir of Lórien, yet, he seemed younger and it was **_he_ that called out. **

"_Tangado haid_!" He said to his fellow Elves and then he turned to me again. "_Lasto beth nin, dilio_!" he commanded.

It took me a while to recover from my episode, but eventually I blinked out of my little phase and for once, realized the danger I was in. 

Mimicking the elvish words in my mouth. '_Tangado haid_.' I had NO idea what THAT meant and '_Lasto beth nin_' was something Arwen said to Frodo when they first met, something about light... or hearing aids... eh? I still haven't forgiven her for stealing Glorfindel's scene, Glorfindel rocks and she stole his moment of glory! But, anyways of course I knew that '_dilio_' meant stop, I even used it in one of my fanfics! 

"Hey, I already stopped, no need to tell me again." I found myself declaring, not knowing whether they'd understand me or not.

"You speak Westron." The Elf said in surprise.

"Yeah... I guess I do." I smiled, I though English _wasn't_ Westron; oh well, guess it was some sort of funky magic thingy. I looked up at Haldir. Dang! he was tall! I was only 5' 1½...so short! 

"Who are you? What business do you have in the forest of Mirkwood?" he asked lowering his arrow.

"I'm Alice, and I don't really have any business in Mirkwood. I fell asleep in my backyard and so yeah... here I am." I stuttered. 

Quickly a rapid conversation in Elvish arose and I was left standing there like an idiot. 

"You will come with us to the King, he will know what to do with you." Haldir was kind enough to inform me. "Any resistance and we may have to harm you." He gave me a stern gaze. 

I raised hands innocently, "K, no problemo here senor Haldir." The moment those words left my mouth I knew that it'd been the stupidest thing I could've done. I whacked my head and 'Doh!'ed. 

"I did not tell you my name. Speak child! And tell me how you came across it!" 

I shrugged and laughed nervously, "Lucky guess?"

His gaze did not break and again, he raised his bow and arrow. 

"Awww man! Not again. Dude it was just a mistake and it slipped out." I whined. "Can't we settle this when we get to the King?" 

"So be it." He sighed. "Time slips away as I stand here trying to reason with you."

I crossed my arms and pouted, I was pretty sure that that wasn't a compliment. 'Don't be such a biatch Haldir.' I thought. 'And I looked up to you!' No pun intended.  

We began to walk, I had Elves all around me so that I wouldn't escape. Now why would I want to escape? I'm already here in Middle-Earth, and it that wasn't good enough, I get my experience sugar-coated. I was gonna get to see Legolas! I risked fainting right there and then just by the thought of meeting him. 

As our journey progressed I kept on tripping on tree roots and got a couple of curious stares from the Elves around me. I was itching to do that thing where you raise your index and middle finger up to point at your eyes to indicate that 'I see you too' look, but decided against it as I didn't want myself to end up in deeper shit. I'm such a clumsy fool.

Eventually I got bored out of my mind and somehow, I subconciously started to hum "Canon by Pachelbel"; I loved that song, ever since I started playing it I became obcessed. Whenever I felt bored, I'd start humming it... I did it so frequently that _I_ didn't even notice that I did it! Soon I realized that the surrounding Elves began to smile as they heard me hum. 

'I guess they like anyone that can sing or hum.' I thought. 'Hey, if it got Frodo some Elf friends it'll help me too.'

It's amazing what the company of Elves could do to you.... 

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A/N: Yes, that is all. Revised too. Yay? Iono *shrugs*. And 'Lasto beth nin' means 'hear my voice'. LOL Hearing aid. Plz R/R! 


	2. Legolas

A/N: I've taken the liberty of replying to my reviewers' reviews now.

Tamra: You really think it's interesting? Cool!

Europa: I'm glad you liked it. I was afraid the plot was _so_ overdone that people weren't going to read my story at all! At least my plot is still a _bit_ different from all the others.

"reviewer": I try to be original yes. And thanks for the encouragement to write more!

Disclaimer: Ditto from chpt. 1.

~*~**~*~

As I stared up at the vast palace before my eyes, an image of Rivendell quickly slid into my mind. But... Mirkwood seemed brighter and more energetic than Rivendell. See, whenever I see or imagine Rivendell, it gives me this sleepy feeling. I know it's weird but it just does. 

The other Elven Warriors all went in separate directions and I was left alone with Haldir.

"Follow me." he commanded. 

He lead me through a labyrinth of halls and stairwells, it was hard to keep track of how many turns we made. But as we made our way through the Palace I kept my eyes open for Legolas, hoping to get a glimpse of that fine Elf. However, I was the one that Elves caught glimpses of and sometimes I would stare back at them. In my whole odyssey, yes, odyssey, through the gargantuan palace, there was not _one_ Elf who did not stare. But soon I didn't care and was relieved when we finally reached the doors to the throne-room. It was a grand door fixed with vines and carvings of Elvish. It sparkled a bright silvery color and there were two guards standing in front of it.

Haldir said something to them and they moved aside to allow us to enter. The room was filled with sunlight that shone through the arch-shaped windows at the side. There in far wall sat Thranduil, proud and tall upon his throne; next to him was a she-Elf, probably the Queen. 

Realizing that Legolas wasn't there my mouth dropped open and blurted, "Hey! Where's the prince?" 

Haldir gave me this 'look' and hissed, "Do not speak unless spoken to!"

I tried to look as serious as possible and placed my right hand over my heart, "Scouts honor!"

The Queen laughed at my little escapade.

"Where did you find her Haldir? She is like none I have ever come across." she mused. 

I smiled and made a pathetic attempt to curtsey but the fact that I was wearing pajamas didn't help. The Elven Warrior rolled his eyes and sighed. 

"I was doing my daily rounds when I came across her talking to herself. I believe we were at the edge of the wood." He began. 

But I interrupted. "I don't talk to myself!" I lied.

"What are we to do with her your highness? Perhaps she is a spy sent by the Dwarves?" he continued. "Her stature certainly meets the standards of a Dwarf."

"Hey buddy keep throwing those insults and you'll find that bow of yours far, far up your ass!" I retorted. "And.I.Am.Not.A Dwarf! Nor do I look like one!"

Haldir glared at me.

"No Haldir, she is our guest. Do not speak to her in that manner." Thranduil corrected as Haldir's jaw dropped and stared stupidly at him. 

"Yeah buddy boy!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"And you my child." The King said turning to me, "_You_ must restrain your behavior as well. You do not act at all as a young lady should." 

A sudden fascination of my feet came over me and I had a great impulse to look at them. Yet I was still aware of Haldir trying to stifle a laugh.

"Yes... your highness." I murmured quietly. Still having my head down I did not notice the smile on the King and Queen's face. They seemed to be glad that I admitted my mistake unlike a certain other 'Elf'. King Thranduil spoke again, this time his voice softer and more kind, "What is your name child?" 

I looked up in surprise... I thought he was pissed at me. "My name is Alice sir." I replied. 

"And where do you come from?" 

"I'm from..." I began, but stopped to think of a good answer that would describe my little situation. "I'm from another world. See... last night I went to sleep in my backyard wishing that I was in Middle-Earth and when I woke up I was here."

"Hmmm..." He nodded. 

"You certainly don't believe her do you?" Haldir asked. He did not have to address to Thranduil as 'Your Highness' for they were as close as brothers.

"I believe....I-" He was interrupted as a little Elf looking around the age of six came scurrying into the room.

"Father!" he giggled as he jumped into Thranduil's arms. 

"Hello Legolas." The King chuckled as he embraced his son lovingly.

My jaw dropped and for a long while I stood standing there with my mouth hanging open like an idiot. When I finally recovered I was able to stammer, "Th-that's L-legolas?"

"Yup! Who are you?" The Elf-child asked. He stared at me with his big, innocent, blue eyes; his head was slightly cocked to one side and he sat silently in his father's arms.

I started to jump around the room excitedly, Haldir backed away as if he thought I was some sort of possessed demon. 

"Awww!!! You're soooo CUTE!" I squealed. I swear I could've just fainted! 

But after a while I realized something bad. "Noo!!" I wailed. "You're so young! I'll never be able to see the hot, 2931-year-old Legolas! I'll be dead before Aragorn's even born!! I mean... you're cute and adorable and all but... I want my big Leggie!" 

___________________________________

A/N: That's all for now! Plz R/R!


	3. When Dreams Come True

A/N: I've just watch 'Alice in Wonderland' after… what?  9 years? Ok… all I have to say is that _that_ was a _weird_ movie! Almost perfect for a crazy person like me! Ha!

britany m.b: Hey cool! Someone just who has a 'Questions to ask Legolas' list too! Even cooler! Someone who has the same daydreams! *laughs manically* I don't know why I just did that… 

DarkStar: Yes Math homework is a drag. Especially Algebra… I hate word problems… my mind just can't understand them. *shrugs* He he. My story made your day! Neato! I'm really glad that you like it!

Europa: Hmm… Legolas P.O.V… nah. Hyperventilation… he he, I love that term!

Lilly: Really? You would've? Good, now I know I'm not crazy. I'm glad that people can relate to my story! 

shade: Frankly… I don't know. I just like him there. I'm not sure where, or when the concept of Haldir being Legolas' protector/guardian came from, but it sorta caught on. He's probably _never_ been to Mirkwood *shrugs* who knows? Hey, at least they can't deny Haldir from being there, don't have enough evidence. 

Disclaimer: Ditto from chpt 1.

~*~**~*~

It was a while before I recovered from my little _fit_, and as always, I frightened just about everyone within the room. And dropping to the floor I somewhat began to hyperventilate while continuing with my insane mutterings. The room fell within a state of funkiness, at least, that was only my opinion. I sat upon the mosaic-patterned ground, hugging my knees I rocked back and forth. "All alone. No friends. No family. NO Hot legolas." The speed in which my breaths came sped up with great speed. "The walls… are closing in on me! I-I can't breath! I can't _think_! What do I do?! How will I survive?! Who will I turn to?! What- hey cool, an acorn." 

Snatching up the acorn I dropped it into my pajama pocket and proceeded to sitting on the nice clean floor. It struck me odd that the Elves had not run out of the room yet; the King, with Legolas cuddled in his arms, was seated in his throne and the Queen still sat quietly upon the dais all the while Haldir gave looks to Thranduil as if to say, 'See! I told you she was crazy! Throw her out! OUT!' 

It was an extended amount of time before anyone spoke; the Queen, finally summoning up her courage, asked, "Are you feeling well my dear?" A bit of fear shone in her deep green eyes. 

"Yeah… I'm okay now." I took a deep breath. "This sort of thing's normal for a 21st century girl like me who gets high on Pepsi and water." Seeing the confused looks on their faces I added, "I'm weird, I know. Don't ask."

Again there was a silence… how strange of them. I thought Elves were jolly folk, oh wait, the Elves of Mirkwood don't trust strangers. How silly of me to forget. 

Silence.

I wonder what they're thinking sitting there staring at me; they're not even speaking… I wonder what year it is. Probably still the Third Age, drat! Legolas is still young. I should stop repeating myself. Do do do, dum do dum do do. Lalalalalalalala-

Silence. 

Good lord! Will someone please say something! I don't know who to stare at anymore. Let's see… I've done Legolas, Thranduil, and The Queen whose name I don't know… Oh! It's Haldir's turn. 

Silence, with a scowl from the Elf everyone calls Haldir. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I then gasped extremely loudly and startled everyone in the room and continued with my mental screams. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Wait, why would I need to gasp for breath if it was a mental scream?

Silence.

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! Were Elves always this silent? What… if, what if they were reading my mind? 

Silence. 

"Can monkeys swim?" I suddenly blurted. Sure, it made absolutely no sense to those around me but it made sense to me so I continued, "I mean, I've seen a monkey talk, walk, play with chalk, doing sign language, swinging in trees, jumping on things, banging things, but I've never seen a monkey swimming before." There, that ought to cure the silence.

"I-I do not know my dear." Being the compassionate Elf that she was, The Queen attempted in answering my question. "What is a mon-key?" 

Presently I was still sitting on the floor. After pondering for a long while I soon came up with a brilliant answer, "It's a _thing_." Stupendous! I should get a Nobel Prize for that smashing definition of a monkey!

But there was one whom did not find it amusing, Haldir; that rotten-no-good-Alice-hating-Elf threw up his arms dramatically and scoffed, "Folly! There is no creature on Middle-earth that is called a monkey!" He looked at King Thranduil pleadingly, "This is a waste of our time, what are we to do with her?" 

Thranduil directed his attention to look at me. "I know not of what to do with her." He mumbled. "And although I do not sense evil within you child, I still do not fully trust your judgments or actions." He explained. 

I tried my best to not look disappointed, but failed horribly.

Regarding my facial expression, he quickly turned to a more cheerful manner. "You may reside in Mirkwood until we find a way for you to return to your home. Though currently there is not a free chamber within the palace for you to stay." He looked thoughtful for a while. "You shall take refuge with Lady Arëdiel, she is a tutor and lives alone not far from the Palace, she may have need for some company."

"Umm…O.k." I nodded. Though not what I wanted, but still, better than nothing, I guess…

"Haldir, will you please escort Alice to Lady Arëdiel and give her my message?" 

"Yes sire." Haldir bowed and motioned for to me get up. 

I did, and also bowed, it only took me once to learn that curtseying was a hazard to those who are wearing pajamas. "Nice meeting you!" I called before I was dragged from the room by a certain Elf. 

~*~

We walked a good distance through the palace, it was HUGE… well at least from what I've seen and bigger than what I'd seen before. I was not surprised when Elves stared, I'd gotten used to that now. But before long I felt an aching sore at the sole of my foot, the palace floor was smooth and clean but very cold. I suppose it was _also_ October here. Oddly, my feet were not dirty, they hurt but they weren't dirty. It wasn't long before I started complaining to Haldir and cause that vein at the side of his head to swell even more with annoyance. 

"Haldir… my feet hurt." I whined in his ear.

"That is not my problem." 

"But my feet _really_ hurt! Can't we stop?" 

"No." he retorted. "Now be quiet." 

Trying to ignore the pain, I fell into a state of thought, as I did very often. I was wondering how people or Elves were able to identify the stars so quickly and easily. It seemed very difficult to me. Of course, I knew the name of _one _star, and _that, _was the Sun. But seriously, astronomers must have been very creative, to have the ability to see a picture of a centaur in just a few stars. It boggled my mind. O well, I'm a city girl. You can't see stars from the city… well only a few, but not a lot because of all the pollution. So right there and then I noted that any Mary Sue dropped into Middle-earth who could read stars must be from the country, or have lived in the country for some time. I never remembered looking up at the stars with a telescope… I've been to the observatory at the university a couple of times; didn't see much but the moon.   

When finally I had snapped out of my deep philosophical thoughts, I noted that we were outside, near the stables. I hoped it didn't smell bad; bad experience from zoos…

"What are we doing here for?" I asked. 

"To get horses."

"Why?"

"We will need to make haste as a storm draws in quickly."

"Why?"

"I suppose you do not want to get wet."

"Oh… Good point." I nodded, waiting for him to get a horse. Having been filled with a great number of powerful stallions, the stables were very large. Golden hay littered the ground and it didn't smell as half bad as I thought it'd be.

The time passed quickly and before I knew, Haldir had lead a horse out. He was a handsome horse of white, and a magical glint shone in his eyes as he stood patiently before me. The Elf stood beside him waiting for something. 

"Well, mount the horse." He said.

"What? No way! I don't know how to ride a horse!' I protested. 'And I'm too short to _mount_ one! Bareback anyway."

"You don't know-" Haldir laughed at me.

"Eh! Shut up! I'll bet you don't know how to play the piano!" He stared at me stupidly. "Eeeeh-xactly!" 

It turned out that I was quite right, I couldn't mount the horse – bareback anyways – and stupid Haldir refused to help. Instead he enjoyed himself by rolling about in the hay laughing up a storm… well, not literally, but you get the point. I tend to exaggerate a bit. 

I tried everything I could, but the Stallion was just too high and I couldn't get on. Deciding to use my brains rather than to make an even bigger idiot of myself, I went over and brought a stool over from one of the stalls and placed it beside the horse. Using _that_ as my platform I easily slid onto the back of our handsome white buddy; although he did not seem entirely happy, I suppose he was a bit relieved that I hadn't taken a lifetime to mount him. 

"See! Haha! I got on!" I gloated. "Na na-na na na!" I stuck out my tongue, jabbed my thumbs to the sides of my head and wiggled my fingers. 

"Finally!" He brought out his horse and gave a quick glance at the sky. "We must hurry." He rushed. The clouds had by now veiled the sun and the cheerful blue sky. Haldir quickly mounted _his_ horse, a nice beast that was a dark shade of brown, and went off onto a path.

"Hey wait for me!" I called. "C'mon horsy, move it!" I told the horse. I knew that you were suppose to do something else but I wasn't gonna risk it. Reluctantly the horse _did_ move; rather slowly at first but then he began to speed up into a run. "Slow down horsy! Slow down!" He didn't obey my commands and cantered on following Haldir. The woods around me all became a blur and I had no idea where I was headed. But now, now's the part where I'm suppose to learn that I'm a master at riding and is able to control my dear horse beautifully.

I was riding! perhaps also screaming like a mad woman and cursing like a sailor, but I was still riding and then KaBAYM! I had smacked right into a branch and found myself laying face down on the ground with birds flying around my head. I guess, when one of your dreams comes true, they ALL come true; I just hope the one where I'm chased by a giant chicken doesn't happen any time soon…

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A/N: Hmm… my narration's gone down a notch. Eck! And the tensing is a little weird too. Gotta work on that next time! Hope you liked it! Toodles! And don't forget to R/R!


	4. Rescued! Good or bad thing?

A/N: Chapter order is fixed. 

brittany mb: Cool! You ride horses?! COOL! I'm SERIOUS! That's so wicked! Hee, hee. I'll be sure to use that info sometime, whether it be in this fic or in real life. And Thanks for telling me! *shakes her head, still murmuring "cool!"*

Europa: Drunken monkeys? Really? Whoa… weird. Oh! and I asked one of the girls in my P.E. or gym class, and she said she's seen a monkey swim before. It fell from a branch and was able to get back on to the shore. Just heard today… but it still isn't LITERALLY swimming now is it?

Phoenix Flight: Thanks! For the review and actually reading the fic when the chapter arrangement was screwed up. I've fixed it now, don't worry.

Zerah Star: Thanks for the e-mail. 

Andreah: The "…okaaaaaaay…" comment REALLY helped me there. Are you always this articulate? Sorry. I've always wanted to say that. Ever seen Hercules? Why am I even asking… you're probably never going to come back or even be able to READ this note.

Disclaimer: Ditto from before.

*~*~*

I thought I was dead. I didn't _feel_ dead; I felt pain. 

I lifted my head and laughed, "I'm ALIVE!" and then dropped back down again. 

Thunder roared ferociously as the storm had arrived; small drops of rain began to leak from the clouds above and the wind furiously blew at all those in her path. 

There was no sign of my horse, there was no sign of Haldir, and I was to be left alone, in pain, lying in the dirty ground, in the rain. 'Yippidy-doo-da-day.' I thought to myself. I was surprised that I wasn't dead, or even inflicted with a fatal wound. But I guess I was special, and was to be blessed with this wonderful opportunity for getting dirty and cold and _wet_. _Faan_tastic! 

The sky darkened to a dark grey tint; the forest setting made it seem gloomier.

I gathered up all my energy and got up. I was going to do something, I was _not_ about to get eaten by a bunch of wargs or spiders… or _orcs_. The palace was nowhere in sight, and if I hadn't concentrated so much on screaming, I would have at least been able to see how the horse had gotten me here.

"Haldir!" I called, looking nervously up at the sky pleading for the conditions of the rain to not worsen. "Hal-dir!!!" 

"Ugh!" I stomped my feet, and let my hands recede back into my sleeves. Desperately trying to get a sense of direction, I closed my eyes and allowed my memories flow back to me. 

I remembered that every thing was a blur; the branch I hit was that of a… tree, and I noticed that my horse had trotted off west after I fell. My counselor was right; you _do_ remember more things when you're traumatized. 'Okay. So I go west.' I told myself. 

Shoving my hands into my PJ pockets, I started my journey. "This _can't_ get any worse." I sighed. 

I did it. I said it. It's just like at the movies! At first the rain fell a bit faster. 

"O, great." 

Then a little more. 

"Just perfect."

And then SPLASH! it came down in buckets, within minutes I was soaked from head to toe. Yet I kept going, for whatever reason… there are so many to choose from I don't know where to start. The ground felt gooey and squishy. Flashes of lightening lit up dark and mysterious places that I wished I hadn't known existed. The drum-like rolls of thunder broke through the rhythm of the sounds of the rain's descent. 

I felt utterly hopeless. "Haldir! Anybody! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

A bit of silence and then the sudden sound of hooves was my reply. 

"If you continue to create such ruckus, there are creatures in this forest who do not like to be disturbed and will be more than happy to get rid of you." Haldir shouted, riding up on his horse. 

"Thanks for your concern!" I replied sarcastically. 

The Elf sighed. "Just get on the horse!"  

"How?" 

"I'll pull you up."

"No way. I'm too heavy for your weak arms. This is 105 pounds of pure annoyance!"

"I am not weak." He sighed in frustration.

He jumped from his beast and walked up to me. "Then… I shall, lift you up." He shuddered.

Ignoring his last physical display of…… idiocy, I raised my hands in protest, "Whoa-ho! No. Way. No touchy. NOOOOO touchy. _Ne touchez pas. Pas touchez_!"

"It is the only way." 

"No it isn't."

"You have another?" 

"Pchh! Yeah!" I scoffed. "Here, hold you hands like this and interweave your fingers." I showed in with my hands. "Ok, good. Now stand next to the horse and hold your hands like a step, palms facing upwards." 

He didn't do it immediately, not before he complained. "I do not see how this will prove helpful." 

"Just do it."

He rolled his eyes and went over to the horse. 

"Lower your hands a little."

He lowered his hands.

"Good, now hold it there as I use it as a step." I walked over and was _about_ to step on his hands when-

"Stop!"

"What?" I perplexed. 

"Your feet are dirty." 

"My God!" I took out the Kleenex from my PJ pockets; I swear I have pieces of Kleenex in every pocket of all my clothes, and then it gets all screwed up in the wash. Ok, yeah. So I took out my Kleenex, wiped the foot that I was going to use to step on his hands, and stepped on his hands and finally got onto the horse. 

"Good, now kindly move forward a little." 

I moved forward, and Haldir easily slid onto the back of our horse friend.

"Show off." I whispered.  

There was a long pause before I asked, "So when do we get going? Unlike you, I can actually catch a cold." 

He sighed again, and rubbed his temples; although I could not see it, I knew he was doing it. "You must learn to keep balance upon the horse."

"Gotcha, balance. What does that have to do with us not moving?" 

"Please, I am trying not to be rude, but may you please move forward a little." 

"K… geez, why didn't you just ask? Weren't afraid of being rude a few minutes ago." I commented. 

He just ignored me. "Thank you."

"You're welcome… weirdo." I crossed my arms. "Can we start moving _now_?" What was this guy up to? Perhaps Haldir was even more mentally insane than I was. I never understood his intentions right then, and I never did, in case you were wondering.

"Hold on to the horse's sides with your knees, lean forward when going uphill, hold on to the horse's mane, and rock with the movements of the horse as it runs."

"Ok, okaaaaay. Can we go now?" 

"Alright. Let us go."

*

It was to my luck that Lady Arëdiel's home was not a far ways away. Merely a 5-minute ride from where I had fallen; I was surprised that I hadn't seen it. Eh… stupidity is bliss. And my stupidity is beyond anyone's comprehension. 

_______________________________

A/N: The Emperor's New Groove, ever see that movie? Hilarious! Couldn't see the end though, stupid DVD was screwed up. Oh and Brittany M.B. you don't mind if use your words directly do you? I couldn't find a better way of putting it. 

*giggles* Yzma: I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea; and I'll put him in a box and I'll put that box inside of another box and I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives… *cackles* AH HA HA HA! I'll sa-mash it with a ham-ma! *pauses* But to save money on postage I'll just poison him with this *holds of vial of poison* Brilliant! I tell you! Genius, I say!


	5. Haldir the Sewer Rat

A/N: Ach! ACH! ARGHHH!!!!! My computer's screwed up again and I can't get on the internet. ;_; NOOO!!!! . *sigh* *sniffs* Or… if I've already uploaded this: My com _was_ screwed up and I couldn't get on the internet for so-and-so days. Uh… yeah, the weirdness of CocoBeans continues. Anywhoo, enjoy!

Lotr-junkie: Frankly… I don't know. I just like him there. I'm not sure where, or when the concept of Haldir being Legolas' protector/guardian came from, but it sorta caught on. He's probably _never_ been to Mirkwood *shrugs* who knows? Hey, at least they can't deny Haldir from being there, don't have enough evidence. Hmm… maybe I'll try to write in a reason for Haldir being in Mirkwood.

Liza Jane: I meant figure skating. Heh. Probably should have cleared that up a bit. Oh! And good idea about the song thing I'll be sure to use it!

Maren: Thanks! I didn't think people would like it that much since the plot was a bit clichéd. Oh, and I'm from Canada; you know, that big block of ice mass just north of the U.S. that some Americans just can't seem to locate. LOL Ok… no more crappy jokes. No offense to Americans either… :P  Oo! Eh cool! Norway! You're lucky you live in a small town, ugh, I wish I did. *sigh* But you can't always get what you wish for.

brittanymb: No it wasn't too much. I wish I knew how to ride… But either way, I'm glad you've told me all this. *smiles* Knowledge is power… well… in my case it's just a love for horses and animals.

haLOratIOn: Thanks for your compliments. Heh heh. Don't worry, whenever I need tips I _will_ e-mail you. Although I think poor Alice wants to stay as far away from horses as possible after what happened; but one day, she _will_ get back on one, whether she likes it or not. MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Europa: Isn't Kronk hilarious? Like in the his first scene when he hits his head trying to get the fly and when he's humming his theme song and he backs up against the wall while holding a note and the people passing by are just like "Ok……" and when jumps off the really tall whatever-that-thing-is to get the cookie and when-when *gasps for breath* Ok… whew, enough about him. On with the fic!

sierradogbaby: Thanks I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Momiji: Haldir slash… hmmm… I was thinking about doing that too. Good! I've got a supporter! Poor thing needs a little lovin' too… though he may not seem like the straightest or hottest Elf… meh. LOL Don't listen to me, I don't _ever_ make any sense.

;) : You really think it was good? But a genius? I can't really say that I'm a genius, although I'm glad you found this fic amusing, *grins* and not stupid.

The Elfin Child: Ok, I'm still gonna come back to read the rest of your fic. Just a matter of time… time… "What is time?" Hmm… Oh! You're welcome for the ideas. OK! I'm going to read the rest of your ficcie tomorrie! Ah yes!

Disclaimer: Ditto from previous chapters.

*~*~*

We stopped at a pretty little hut, cabin, manor, and garden? Well, to me it was all of those mixed in one. Actually it wasn't entirely small either, about the size of your average house I should say. It's aged, but brilliant white walls and arches were hidden behind the fair, buff toned leaves; like a haven in the time of need, and I was _really_ in a time of need.

My PJ's were plastered on my skin and my body shivered with the cold. Me no like. No like. To sum it all up, the most perfect word to use here in my situation, I felt like crap. C - R - A - P! I was uncomfortable! so it was natural if I squirmed around a little.

"Stop that, we have already arrived." Haldir told me.

"K." I sighed. I was all hyped out, there was no more energy left in this girl, no, none, nada, zip, zero, _niente_!

Haldir jumped off the horse, also soaked, just like me, except he looked more like something you'd find in a sewer rather than a wet Elf, probably because of his outfit. Really! Brown and gray and green don't look too pretty when they're wet. Ha _ha_! But I suppose he deserved some credit for saving my life; no, not life, too strong, that'd be too _much_ credit. Ok, I give him credit for saving my butt. There we go. Now, where was I? Oh yes, when he got off he just stood next to the horse waiting. What is with this guy? Can he not _say_ what's wrong?

I guess I had to do something. "What now?"

"Will you not dismount?"

"Oh yeah." I replied taking time out of wallowing in self-pity. Aww, and I really liked wallowing; gives me some to reflect on the things in my life. "Help me." I pleaded extending my arms out like an infant, ok, I was giving up, I didn't care if a guy I've only met for 2 hours touches me. Ok, didn't come out right but there was no other way of putting it. Seriously, even if you wrote fanfics about some thought-to-be-imaginary Elf and he was no longer _just_ an extra (in both movie and book), and met him in real life, would you let him carry you around? Yes? 

Heh… well, how about seemingly-ugly, part-homosexual, weird-nosed, evil, ignorant, without-any-sense-of-humor, witless, crazy, mean, disturbing and cruel Elf? No? Eeee-xactly. Well, I suppose my opinion was a bit biased, but he'd brought it upon himself with his evil ways. To think, I actually thought he was a pleasant Elf before I met him.

"I will not help if it is not needed." He was being a biatch again. "And I know for sure that you do not need my help."

"Oh? Where'd you get that hypothesis from?"

"You were not upon a horse when I found you just a while ago." He smiled evilly. "So I can only assume that you know how."

"Wow. Why don't you write a thesis about your wonderful discovery?" I crossed my arms as my reign sarcasm resided.

"Will you still not dismount?" Haldir chuckled. 'Ugh! He looked like a chicken when he chuckles in the rain.' I thought to myself.  Apparently I 

was annoyed and random things seemed to just pop into my mind and out of my mouth. But luckily I didn't say the chicken comment and just waited for Haldir's next remark. "You need only to do it the way you did before."

"I _fell_! I hit a branch and _fell_!" I argued. "What do you want me to do? Hit another branch and fall off again?!" I calmed down a little and sighed. "I'm sorry, but my head," I pointed to my head. "see my head? Well, I have to book an appointment in order to hit it with another branch and I'm sorry, but 'The Head' isn't free with all the thinking, and clever insults it has to make up for me to _throw at YOU_! So you see, it's too busy to be hit by another tree branch!"

"Busy or not, I suppose it must be done." He stated before walking away leaving me on the horse staring aghast.

"Wha- You did _not_ just say that!" I scoffed.

"Oh I believe I did!" He called from a distance.

He was not headed towards the entrance of the house. "Hey! The front door's that-a-way!" I pointed out hoping he'd turn around and come back. He didn't. "Damn you Haldir! I'll get you back for this! I'll- ARGH!!!!"  He was unbelievable, complete and utterly unbelievable. I had set aside my pride, my dignity and _begged_ him for his aid, yet what does he do? He _refuses_! The NERVE!

I had sat upon the horse and I huffed and I puffed and if there were a house I would've _blown the house down_! I growled, I snarled and I whined but eventually I had to get down. Hmph!

My first thought on dismounting was an image of my attempting the impossible and landing in a pile of _very_ gooey mud. Hmmmm.

My second thought was of Legolas when he rode into Rivendell and how _he_ dismounted his horse. Aha! That was my plan, I'd do it like he did it. So I had set into action. At first I laid flat on the horse's back and slowly lifted my right leg over to my left and carefully, ever so carefully I slid down and plopped onto the ground.

"Well, that wasn't so bad."  I clenched my fists and thrust them in the air. "Success! Haha!" I cried.

"You were actually able to dismount? Miracles _can _happen." Haldir's voice slithered through the air from behind me sending me up nearby tree. Okay, maybe not literally but you get the point; either way, he scared the crap out of me. How would you feel if one minute you thought you were alone and decided to act like an idiot and found out that a homosexual Elf was behind you?

"Good lord! WHAT is wrong with you?!" I gasped as he laughed up a riot; not literally, he just chuckled…LIKE A CHICKEN! K, I know… chicken's don't chuckle they '_Bwak?_'.  "Scaring people silly is not, I don't think, in a NORMAL Elf's profile!"

"Must you act so rudely all the time?" He lectured. "Can you not see that Lady Arëdiel is present? You can at the least try to make a good impression."

He was right, Lady Arëdiel was standing right behind him staring at me in shock. Ah, darn it! "I only couldn't see her 'cause you big fat head was in the way!"

Lady Arëdiel raised an eyebrow at my response. Oops? Man! I don't need another person to hate me. Why don't they start a 'I Hate Alice' Fan Club; highlight of the century! Haldir for president, and for V.P., that horse that threw me off (well not literally but I saw see in his eyes, he hated me!); or maybe Lady Arëdiel should be Vice President, I don't know… she didn't _look_ mean.

She was quite tall, nearly the same height as Haldir though maybe off by around an inch; had auburn hair, waist length and shiny, like Legolas'; she had fiery green eyes filled with energy and passion; she had long fingers and gentle hands, and she held a white umbrella lightly in her hands so to not to get herself or the white dress that she wore, wet; but in other words she was really pretty.

Then, out of the blue, I began to laugh; Haldir the sewer rat looked like shit next to her! Just like 'Beauty and the Beast' but an _actual_ evil beast… heh… me and my imagination. Well… I suppose he wasn't _that_ ugly, but he wasn't what I would say, _hot_ either. He was… normal, but his being mean to me just made him seem uglier… I have a complicated mind, so don't even bother to ask…

____________________

A/N: Sorry if there are any spelling errors or stuff, I don't really have time to check this over by myself, I had to use spell-check which isn't the same if you ask me. Anywhoo… bit short, me muse is giving me a whole bunch of ideas lately and he's forcing me to write them all! Blasted… thing/creature/vermin! Alright, enough of that. Toodles! P.S. Sorry for the long wait! Ugh! Had trouble uploading this, kept on uploading all screwed… took me a full HOUR! Geez… ok. I won't bother you any longer. Toodles again!


	6. Calad od dúath thuiatha

A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner! 

Amia: Thanks! Really? You like Alice? Cool!

nut_job: I'm glad you like my idea. Sorry if I haven't reviewed your fic in a while, I haven't been on the internet for a week!

Europa: I think she probably _is_ unbalanced. Lol!

brittanymb: Wow, I didn't know so many people didn't like Haldir. That's too bad. But he does seem like an asshole in the movie. (Alice: Yup!) Quiet, you! Haldir's not so bad once you ignore that 'The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him the the dark' part where the first word that came into my mind was "Bitch!" but other than that he's ok. (Alice: Well that's cause you've never met him!) Quiet, you're my creation so you're entitled to listen to me! Crazy child. Heh heh, I got the dismounting thing from that show Saddle Club, have you ever seen it? I've seen one or two episodes, it drives me crazy, but when there's nothing on, desperate situations call for desperate measures. 

Maren: Oh good! I thought we were like the ignored, and invisible country or something. And Mary Sue-ish is like when a character is perfect and everyone on the story likes her. If you want more info go to: [http://www.imladris.nu/marysues.html][1] it has these really cute pictures and stuff. And I dunno, I think it's ok to use 'regards' isn't it? Hmm… 

ZonyBone: No I don't mind people calling me crazy. Or insane, or unnatural or unbalanced or uncivilized or unsane (wait, that's not a word.) LOL Thanks, I like to write original fiction, and I'll try to keep it that way. I'll be dead before Alice turns into someone like Mileadoulowen… or in other words, a MARY SUE! DUN DUN DUUUN!!!

Nevavariel: O wicked! Thanks! OMG you actually read all five chapters unlike some people who only read a few… like me. Doi! Anywhoo! I agree on the monkey thing.

Lutheyl: Is this soon enough? (Alice: Probably not.) *whacks Alice on the head* Quiet, you! *sighs* Where was I? Oh! I'm glad you found it funny; I try to be humorous.

The Elfin Child:  Really? You laughed hard. Yay! My devious plot plans are working.

Liza Jane: Oh cool! Someone who likes figure skating too! *sigh* I'm glad there are people out there who actually care. Well, my friend Tian's a big fan too but she's millions of miles away from me; AND she's a bit weird too. She's prone to wanting to marry Alexei Yagudin, she knows EVERYTHING about him, even his shoe size. Geez! She also thinks he's hot and calls him 'Yags'. LOL I know too many weird people.

Ari: Wow you just have such a great friend! (Alice: Are you being sarcastic? Cause I'm sensing some sort of-) Yes I'm being sarcastic, now be quiet dumbbell! I'm glad you like my ficcie, and thanks for the Haldir idea! It's nice to get some ideas when you don't have a plot laid out.

;): Hee hee! Thanks for coming back and reviewing! I'm sorry for not updating for a long time!

BigFatBirdWithNoLegs: LOL I like your name! I feel sorry for your cat… well, *thinks for a moment* HA! I'd probably do the same thing to my cat, if I had a cat… (Alice: Don't forget, she doesn't like Haldir just like me!) Yes well a lot of people don't, I didn't, but that was a long time ago and now I like him. (Alice: Sure… and the sky's blue) The sky _is_ blue. (Alice: Wha? I mean… No! The sky's _purple_!!) I really did hate Haldir in the beginning what with the 'The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark.' part really brought the word 'Bitch' to my mind. (Alice: Ahhh… but now you like him.) Well, that's only because I have a fic with him in it and in that one he's actually a decent Elf. (Alice: Weirdo. Either way I hate'em.) Fine. (Alice: Fine! You can't penalize me for my opinion!) Never said I did. I'm sorry, Alice and I will carry out our arguments elsewhere so you can actually finish reading this and get on with the chapter. 

Disclaimer: I… am too lazy to write it all out. Ditto from before.

*~*~*

"What, pray tell, do you find so conveniently amusing?" Haldir asked when I had finally finished giggling.

"_Nin_ ass." I smirked. What I meant was 'My ass.' but I wanted to add an exceptionally creative and witty twist to it, and said '_nin_' instead… which is Elvish for 'my'. Ha _ha_! Geniuses will one day rule the world!

Haldir sighed and shook his head. "You are… maddening." He looked at me for a while as if waiting for a response but when it didn't come he turned to Lady Arëdiel and said something in Sindarin. Oooh… again with the Elvish thing eh? Alrighty then. 

I stood there trying to look as carefree as possible; I didn't care what they were saying… nope! … none at all! Oh my, can you _feel_ the sarcasm? They talked for a long time and once in a while they gave me these 'looks'. Then suddenly I heard my name, "Wha? What about me? I heard my name! Haldir, you back-stabbing bum, what are you saying about me?!" I asked; although, it really didn't matter at all if I'd asked or not because Haldir did the usual and just ignored my question and continued with their conversation. I was boiling inside and I would've given him the finger, but Middle-earthians may not have known what it stood for. No use sticking up the middle one for no reason. 

Their conversation continued on for a _really _long time and I didn't want to interrupt but, it was still raining in buckets and I was almost certain that if I didn't get inside soon I was going to catch pneumonia or something. We had been in the rain for nearly half an hour! If things could speed up a little, I'd be very grateful. I opened my mouth to complain but Lady Arëdiel beat me to it. 

"You must be cold. Let us go inside." Her voice was soft and calm; kinda like my kindergarten teacher, except, unlike my Mrs. Maguire, she didn't look like a man and she was definitely in her early-thirties unlike Mrs. Maguire who at age 40 looked like a wrinkly old raison. 

I was extremely grateful for her keen observation and gladly nodded, "Alright!"

"Here," She walked up to me from behind Haldir. "Take my umbrella, you have more need of it than I." 

'Oooo, pretty white umbrella.'  I thought as she extended it within my reach. "Oh, th-thanks."  I stammered. No one's been _this_ nice to me since I came here, except the Queen. Ho hum. I've been spending too much time with Haldir. 

"There is no need to give thanks. Come and I shall show you to your new home." 

*

She looked at the child before her; she was a mess; and for one so young she had an aggravating run at the mouth. Her dark shoulder-length hair was plastered to her head; her clothes, such peculiar garments she wore, were drenched all through out. 

"You are… maddening." Haldir sighed to her in Westron. Both the Lady and Haldir expected a response yet it never came, and it was then that the Elf of Lórien turned to speak to the Lady. 

"I apologize for her behavior, though, it should not have been my duty to guard her to begin with." 

Lady Arëdiel looked at the younger Elf, "You have not the need to worry Haldir, I understand. Yet, upon what occasion have you been brought here?"

"I have been instructed to inform you of _her_." He bent his head and nodded in the child's direction. In return she glared back at him; the Lady gave a mental smile; the child, with the exception of her erratic movements and clever insults, was quite innocent. Though she may not have liked to admit it, she was still a child; her decisions and actions were in fact very juvenile. 

"Oh? And what of her?" Arëdiel asked.

"I have been instructed to inform you that she must reside with you in anticipation of the King's decision." 

"Decision?"

"Of what it is that will become of her, milady." 

Arëdiel acceded, "I understand." 

And again her gaze fell upon the girl, "What is her name?" 

"Alice, milady."

The child had evidently heard her name; Lady Arëdiel said nothing as another of Alice's insults rang in the air. Although her voice was strong, her body shook in the bitter weather. 

"She is terribly infuriating milady. Are you certain you have the ability to withstand her atrocity?" 

"I will be just fine Haldir." She stepped out from where she stood and walked up to the child who, she soon observed, did not appear to be very comfortable. 

/Westron/

The Lady did not recall speaking Westron for some time now, but with the aid of previous memories of the tongue she was able to say to the child, "You must be cold. Let us go inside."

*

It was nice and dry inside. At first I was a bit embarrassed as my muddy feet left oh-so-lovely footprints on the clean floor but the Lady told me not to worry about it. Never in my life had I experienced such kindness, it's a pity that she lived all alone, well, except for her two maids. 

I looked around at my surroundings, this house was bigger than I thought, it was a _mansion_; a mansion big enough to fit all of Russia and Haldir's big fat egoistic head inside. As we walked I realized that it wasn't lava-lamps that lit the halls that we were walking in, but torch-like bowl thingies. I had a lot of time to think because the two Elves were talking together in Sindarin and since I couldn't understand a word, well, I dedicated my time to poking around. 

It wasn't long before we reached my room; it was a lot bigger than the one I had at home. 

"Your window faces east so you may rise with the sun." Lady Arëdiel beamed. 

"Oh. C-cool." I faked. 'Ahhh darn it!' I thought to myself. 'Why? Why?! Why can't I even sleep-in in Middle-earth?'

~

After I had taken a bath and thoroughly cleaned myself, I retreated back to my room. On my bed were my new clothes! Oh! How funky! And funky was exactly how I looked. Ah yes… I looked like Alladin or some sort of Gypsy in white; it seems that they had tried to make clothes that were similar to my PJ's except the cloth they used was a bit to loose. How they made these so quickly I don't know but hey, better than wearing muddy clothes. Guess I had ought to be grateful. When I had finished dressing I went down to dinner, all that were present in the house sat at the table; Haldir, Lady Arëdiel, her two maids and at that moment, me!

Dinner was nice. The food was yummy but Haldir was there and he happily lectured my about table manners. Blah, blah, blah.

"Do not slurp!"

"Sit up straight!"

"Stop starring at me!"

"No, Alice, that is not 'Dog doo-doo.' as you have called it."

All the time I was dying to say, "Yes, _mother_!" And I did, but Haldir didn't get it. The idiot! I'm not sure Lady Arëdiel got it, she didn't say much during our meal and for the rest of the night the only thing she had said to me was 'Sleep well.' As for Haldir, he was a real bundle of joy; 'I expect you to be on your best behavior.' Or 'I shall be keeping an eye on you.'  Or he'd mumble to himself. '_Calad uin dúath thuiatha__.'_  Whatever _that_ meant. 

________________________

A/N: I apologize for not updating sooner. I just keep on getting lazier and lazier; too much homework. Toodles!

   [1]: http://www.imladris.nu/marysues.html



	7. El Pollo Loco

A/N: I'm sick, but that's not why Alice is sick. I wrote this chapter before I caught a cold. Oh, if anyone wants me to e-mail them whenever I add a new chapter, just tell me.

TASAKAPEOTKAUU: Don't worry I won't, he's one of my favourite characters… *grins* Actually he IS my favourite character, Legolas is still precious to me but… I dunno… he's just not as special as Haldir. 

Dutch girl: Sure, I'll try. Now I've got two people wanting a romance.

*~*FoXy_LaDy*~*: Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Oh, 'Calad uin dúath thuiatha' means 'A light from shadows shall spring.' And it's not a stupid question. Not everyone is an Elvish major, myself included.

Europa: It means 'a light from shadows shall spring.' Sort of like saying, things will eventually get better. It's an excerpt from the 'Riddle of Strider' except in Sindarin.

Brittanymbt: I love Whose Line is It Anyway! It's so funny! And although sometimes it may get a bit repetitive; I still love to watch it.

Yellow Drake X: Well, here's the next chapter, hope you like it!

BigFatBirdWithNoLegs: It must suck not being allowed to post fics, why'd you get banned though?

Nova S.: Sure you can use it! And I don't think I'm good enough to take up comedy, *sigh* bye-bye big bucks. Oh, and isn't it weird that some people don't allow anonymous reviews, I really don't care, but I wonder why they don't.

lime green lion: Is this soon enough? 

nut_job: Don't worry, the Haldir bashing will soon lighten up.

Liza Jane: Thanks, hey maybe you can e-mail me any time you want, sometimes I'm busy (seven stories… *cries* what did I get myself into?) so I may not have the chance. My e-mail's feather_tips@yahoo.com. Hee hee, I love anything on ice, 'cept curling, no offense but it's a bit boring compared to hockey or figure skating.

Iced T: Don't worry, I love Haldir, I won't treat him too badly anymore. LOL  And I'm glad you like Alice, I didn't really think people would find her amusing.

Toranoko: Hehe, I'm not going to make him gay. I love Haldir dearly and was thoroughly upset when he died in the movie. And yes, he _is_ cooler in the book isn't he? 

The Elfin Child: I hope this is soon enough. Hope you enjoy the chapter! 

Disclaimer: I own nothing! NOTHING!

*~*~*

I woke up the next morning with a dry and sore throat; my nose was all stuff up and I couldn't get a single whiff of air through that means even after ten minutes of difficulty. It was horrible; I'd gotten a cold. The morning air was _so_ fresh and I couldn't even smell it! The temperature was wonderful, not too cold not too hot and topped off with a moderate breeze… ahh… such a nice day. 

I found my pajamas washed and folded on the chair next to my bed; I sighed, might as well wear them, nothing else to wear. I pulled them on and stepped in front of the mirror next to my closet thingy too see how I looked, mostly my hair which was always in knots in the morning.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed as I saw the bundle of hair on my head. In the place of my sleek, straight hair was a series of knots that looked like I'd grown an Afro over-night. "Afro dude." I said to myself while trying to comb my hair with my fingers. 

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Double-OW! Ow. Ow." I paused to sniff and sneeze. Unfortunately for me my sneezes weren't just little a-choo's, they were violent and loud. "Ah… ahahahah… Choo!!" At this my head dunked forward with great force causing me to accidentally bite my own tongue and send me staggering backwards leaving the mirror with a few tiny speckles of spit. This was a serious cold, not a mild one, a serious one. If it were a mild cold I wouldn't have spit all over the mirror. 

"Ow… my tongue." I let out an exasperated sigh. "Stupid cold." 

I grabbed my Alladin clothes and wiped up the mirror. "There we go, all better. Though some Windex wouldn't be bad."

Again I examined myself, it felt weird to wear pajamas to go outside and weirder to have not brushed my teeth or washed my face without Neutrogena or Clearasil, soon my face will be invaded by little unexpected break-outs; k, maybe not but I felt cleaner after using one of those products. I sighed again. Maybe they had soap. 

I poked my head into my private little washroom, "Aha! Eureka! Soap!" I inspected it a bit more. "How about a toothbrush?" I asked hopefully. "Darn… no toothbrush or toothpaste. I wonder how Elves keep their teeth clean…" 

With no more thoughts I washed my face first in hopes that a solution to my teeth problem would come to me when I was doing so, boy was _I_ wrong. Actually I _did_ think of one little solution and that was to stick the bar of soap in my mouth, which wasn't very clever if you ask me; luckily I didn't actually do it or else I would've killed myself, I would've either died from lack of oxygen since I couldn't breathe through my nose and if I'd had the soap in my mouth I wouldn't have been able to breathe at all or because of the soap! But wasn't soap, as they mad it a long time ago, made of fat? Oh well. All in all, in the end I just brushed my teeth with my finger. Nasty, but better than nothing. 

Finally after all that intelligent banter I was ready for breakfast; I stuck my head out into the hallway and continued with my sniffles and sneezes and my conversations with myself in my head. It was to my fortune that I ran into Veruwen, one of the Lady's maids. She was about Haldir's age, blond, blue eyes, tall, you know your average prissy, pretty little she-elf.  

"There you are, I have been looking for you." She spoke slowly obviously not very well acquainted with the English, or Westron I should say. "Breakfast is ready, though I'm afraid everyone else has already dined."

Didn't matter to me, I always skipped breakfast or ate it on the way to school. "That's okay. Where's the dining room again?" 

"Straight down the hall, you will reach a grand set of doors, inside, is the dining room." 

"K, thanks!" I called to her as we parted.

I reached the dining room, and pushing the wooden doors open I went over and sat quietly at one side of the rectangular table. It was set for one, me of course; I couldn't really figure out what the food was, just some sort of vegetation. Either way, it was quite good. Finishing up my breakfast I went to look for Lady Arëdiel so I could find something to do, once more bumping into Veruwen.

"Where's Lady Arëdiel?" I asked her.

"She is in the library, though you should not disturb her, she is tutoring Prince Legolas at the time being."

"Oh… then what do I do? I'm bored."

"Do whatever pleases you."

"Can I go outside?"

"If it is what you desire you may proceed to do so, though I caution you not to stray too far south."

"Cool I'll be sure not to go too far away… Oh, hey, do you know where I can find Haldir?"

At this her face stiffened with suspicion. "Why do you seek Haldir? What business have you with him?"

"Uh… I dunno, just bored I guess. Are you sure I can't disturb the Lady and Legolas? Can't she tutor me too?"

"Yes I am sure. Please, do not pester me any further with your questions, I am busy." She said abruptly and quickly walked away. 

"O…kay…" I said staring after her. 'Does this chick have a thing for Haldir or something?' I thought to myself. 'Whoa, freak-show; like some sort of jealous girl with a crush or something, as if I'd take a swing at Haldir. Hmm… now where can I get some shoes?' It was quite normal for me to switch thoughts so quickly, usually they have a connection with one another but I guess this time they didn't. I then went in search for Istawen, the _other_ maid who hadn't yet grown suspicious of me. I went around the house for ages and probably in circles too, I didn't know, though eventually I wound up back before the entrance to my room. 

"Great! nothing to do." I entered and collapsed on my bed letting out yet another sneeze. "Oi…" Not long after I'd done so I saw something on my chair. I sat up to look at it more closely. A pair of shoes… sorta, more like slippers though. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed them, but I soon came up with the assumption that I had probably been too caught up in my brand-new Afro. 

*

I stepped out of the house and stood tranquilly allowing everything to settle; I couldn't believe it was real, Middle-earth, I was finally here. I could do whatever I wanted, no college, no school, no society in which you _must_ abide and insert yourself into. I had felt trapped there, trapped in such a tight-bond world of traffic and business and technology and most of all, _people_. 

I surveyed my surroundings, the trees were somewhat tightly packed but with the sun shining and the crystalline dew-drops atop the golden brown leaves I was hardly aware anything else. It was not long before I headed off to wherever, 'Perhaps I'll find the Athelas plant. Maybe that'll cure my cold, if it cured Eowyn, Merry and Faramir from the malady given to them by the Wraiths, why not a common cold?' I thought to myself, but that was indeed an irrational decision, I didn't even know what the Athelas plant looked like. However, the thought of the plant was soon driven away as I strolled through the woods taking care of the direction that I went. At that current moment I was headed somewhere close to the palace; as I pushed further on in that direction I began to hear the twang of bows. Soon I came into a clearing and saw some of the Elves that had escorted me to the palace when I had first arrived. I had stumbled on the archery fields. 

"Cool…" I gasped in awe, stepping closer and placing my hand on a nearby tree.  

"What are you doing here?" A familiar voice asked.

I swiveled around in confusion. "Eh? Ohh… _el pollo loco_. Nice seeing you here too, you practicing your archery?" 

"Yes. Though… What did you call me? Elle poiyo loco?" Haldir mimicked my words.

"Oh, it means 'the crazy chicken', name of a restaurant, never been in there, but I've seen the name a couple of hundreds of times."

"How terribly amusing…" He replied monotonously. "So I am now a crazy chicken?" He raised an eyebrow.

"In my world, yes."   


	8. Athelas

A/N: Ok… I'm sorry for the wait; I wrote the whole chapter out and then deleted it because I thought it was complete crap and full of unethical… crap. Yes, the inarticulate phase will pass shortly but since it hasn't yet, I beg you to bear with me. Also! *stares at reviews* I won't be replying to review _this_ time (sorry!) because in the place of where it says "reviewer" on all my "not signed-in" reviews, instead of… what it's suppose to be, is the name xing@fanfiction.net which _really_ confuses me because I can't possibly reply to ten xing@fanfiction.net's now can I? And I don't believe it's fair to only reply to some reviews and not others so I won't be… replying to reviews… _this _time. See? I'm completely out of words today. Oi… 

Oh, but thanks to you all who reviewed and thanks for reading and caring! I wouldn't still be continuing this if it weren't for you! *hands out cookies and chips and chocolate hearts to everyone who read and reviewed* Something about Valentine's Day really gets to you…__

Disclaimer: Owning nothing but Alice brings me great joy. *sarcasm intended*

*~*~*

We remained silent for a few great moments; I must say it wasn't very comforting. We stood, surreptitiously giving each other glances and often opening our mouths to speak, but then seemed to have thought better of it and remained as quiet as ever. It drove me absolutely mad! Yet not much could've been done as a wave of shyness swept over me. 'Sugar.' I thought to myself. Weird how things happen, I wasn't usually a shy person and there I was, unable to speak and break through the silence barrier. Get it? Sound barrier: silence barrier. 'I need sugar.' I told myself. I had begun to feel tired and sleepy. 'Damn this cold!' 

"So… are you going to practice archery or not?" I finally forced myself to say. 

He gave a bit of a jump as if started though I couldn't really see why; my voice had barely risen above a whisper. "Huh? Oh, yes of course, I was just… thinking." He mumbled faintly and began to head over to the far end of the glade.

"Yeah, figured that one out." I mumbled, following him. 

He inclined his head and cocked an eyebrow and inquired, "Why are you following me?"

"I don't have anything else to do." I replied simply and gave shrug. "Hey, do you know what the athelas plant looks like?"

"Ai, it's a weed." He finally stopped in the shade and prepared himself for a shot at the target; he effortlessly drew an arrow to his bow, then stopped and looked at me. "What ever do you need it for?"

I watched as the arrow soared through the air and _bull's eye!_ "I heard that it could heal stuff." 

"Stuff?" He had another arrow in his hands.

"Wounds, illnesses, you know?" This time it missed the target by an inch. 

Haldir cursed silently, and drew another. "I vaguely remember being told of it having such capabilities. Again I ask of you, what do you need it for?" 

A sharp _Twang!_ rang through the air, the arrow flew with quick precision and pierced it's identical twin that had previously made it on target. "Well… I've got a cold and I was hoping that the athelas plant would like, cure me."

"Perhaps." He lowered his bow and strode into the sun towards the target to retrieve his arrows. 

"So, are you going to help me find it?" I jogged to keep up with his swift, efficient strides.

He plucked his arrows from the target and looked down at me for a while in deliberation. "Perhaps." He finally told me. "Perhaps…" And he started back to our prior position at the edge of the glade and in the shadows. 

I shaded my eyes from the sun so I could see him.  "Whadya mean 'perhaps'?" I demanded, remaining situated between him and his objective until I received a decent response. "I need an answer now!"

"I beg you to move." He complained, stopping mid-way of raising his bow. "Fine! I will help you, just give me a few more moments!" 

"K." I answered him. I could feel my energy being drained from me. 'Nooo… my beautiful spunk and defiance is slipping away.' I thought. 'I hate colds…' 

*

I sat quietly in the lush green field, hands at my sides I was pulling up hand-fulls of grass and chucking them at Haldir. Luckily for him, grass is light and my assaults never did reach him. I stared at my mud-filled nails and my green-stained fingers; then I looked up at Haldir who had been working vigorously until he was able to hit right on target each time. 

"You said a few moments, it's been longer than that, probably a couple of hours." I said to him, but when he ignored me, I pouted. "Haldir! It's probably already lunch, c'mon, everyone else have already gone. Hal-dir!"

"Just a little longer." He gave me a sharp glance.

'Big. Mean. Meanie.' I plucked up a big piece of grass and pulled it tightly between my thumbs and the edge of my palms; after securing my other fingers in a tight lock I blew at the open space where the reed was stretched; it gave a high buzz. I smiled contently at myself; I was still able to make a reed flute. My commotion had caused the Elf to give a quick look back at me. 

"Just a little longer." He reassured.

I sighed. I would've trudged outta there a long time ago, but I had lost my sense of direction in the dense woods. I puffed out my cheeks and crossed my arms like a child. The sun had hiked up to the centre of the sky and shone down on everything now; I liked it, it was warm. I pulled up a cluster of my hair and looked for split-ends and stray strands of other colours.      

*

"Oh! I found some!" I squealed in delight as I tugged at the leaves of what I believed was the athelas. 

Haldir came rushing to my side and knelt down for a closer examination; looking up at me he smiled for once. "It looks like you have." He cut off a piece of the weed. "Now, it should be time for me to escort Legolas back to the palace and for you to go back as well."

"Yeah." I nodded, exasperated. We had started looking for the damn plant right after Haldir finally stopped "practicing" and we were both relieved when we found some. Both of us were tired and hungry; it had become so desperately bad that we had ultimately stopped trying to kill each other and for once in our God forsaken lives, gotten along for a few short moments. 

"Well, that took pretty friggin' long." I commented as we neared the house/cottage thing that I was living in. "Heck! And you said it was a weed. Weed my ass, weeds are suppose to be common."

"If you were not a girl I would tell you to 'Shut up!' as you would put it." He glared at me. 

Oh, scratch the getting along scenario. "Not my fault if you're blind and can't spot a _weed_ that you've known for you whole miserable life."

"It's not my fault that you have taken ill." He retorted slyly. 

"Actually if is." I sneezed and stumbled back a few paces. "God, I hate you." I said simply and glanced up at the buff sky. "Wasted a whole day with you." 

He looked at me for a second but said nothing and kept on walking. 'Dammit, don't think I should've said that.' I told myself. 'I'm beginning to think they take what you say a _lot_ more seriously here in Middle-earth. Even when you don't completely mean it.' I wanted to apologize but my stupid pride held me back. 

"Damn…" I whispered silently. My guilt had started to kick in. Whoo hoo! Just in time. I hung my head; I couldn't stop thinking! 'Damn, damn, damn!' I thought. 'I should probably be thanking him for helping me look for the kingsfoil.' I looked at the weed in my hand and then at Haldir who was keeping a steady pace ahead of me. 'Oh well, it's _just_ Haldir.' I concluded. 'It's not like he's _that_ important of an Elf…' I told myself trying to add comfort to my uneasy conscience… 

*

Well, Legolas had gone home to the palace and at the current moment I was sitting on my bed thinking. I'd just eaten late dinner by myself; Lady Arëdiel was busy, the maids were avoiding me and Haldir had gone home along with Legolas. I felt so bad; I didn't mean to be so mean.

"Ok… I'm going to go apologize to Haldir tomorrow." I decided. "Ugh! Why do human beings have to have feelings?!"

I looked over at the weed sitting on my bed stand. _It_ made me feel bad; _it_ kept on reminding me of that _Elf_; I put it in a drawer and drew my covers over my head in attempts to blank out everything that had happened…  


	9. The Kitchen

A/N: Sorry for the late update; again. I don't know what happened, I felt like I had recently updated and before I knew it, weeks had gone by. I suppose I've just been a bit hectic what with the state writing test thingy coming up in a few weeks and a huge history project due next Friday. *cries* Although, on the bright side, I got 200% (for reading – heh.)  on one of my Language Arts assignments, yay!

Tabetha: I know this isn't very soon, ach! So much to do and so little time.

Liza Jane: Yeah, I hate it when my review doesn't get through, or something interrupts me just when I'm about to review and it doesn't go through.

Starcraft: Heh, yes, it's a self-insert and I really don't mind if you review a lot because it then seems like a really long review and I like long reviews because… their fun to read. Heh, I'm weird I know. And I'm still seeing how the Alice/Haldir thing turns out, it all depends – but I haven't even really planned the plot out so… (again) it all depends. 

Deanna: Don't worry, I'm working as fast as I can.

BigFatBirdWithNoLegs: *laughs crazily now* Pancakes!!!! *runs around the house screaming 'Pancakes!'* My little sister's _really_ scared of me now.

RRP: Thank you! I'm updating as fast as I can. Which isn't very fast; just about 1 word/minute.

coolgirlchic16: Maybe… maybe… friendship? Yes… yess… we's loveses yummy fishies. Yess… gollumses, gollumses! *runs around house pretending to be Gollum, again scaring little sister* I'm usually _not_ like this.

Yellow Drake X: Poopy love… have you ever seen 102 Dalmatians? The weird French dude calls puppy's "poopies".

Europa: I think you only need to put it in water right? *eyes twitch* Sugar is bad for you.

Allie: I, too, say "I hate you." Or "I'm going to kill you." Or something along that line; luckily, people nowadays don't really care if you say that or else I'd be completely friendless.

nut_job: Oooo! Thank you! But you _do_ know that your review came out 4 times right? Meh, probably glitch. Either way me dun care.

WeasleyTwinsLover1112: Seriously? I'd do that too, I'd go _crazy_!!!! Ai… the human conscience is an evil yet great thing.

Caryn (drkblueflame@yahoo.com): Awww… thanks. I tried to get this chapter up sooner than the other one.

brittanymbt: Maybe she is… maybe… maybe… And this _may _get more interesting or just more crazy… depends on my moods, which change from day-to-day and time-to-time and yah… *falls off chair*

Toranoko: Don't worry! There will be more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and _more_ Haldir coming up!

Disclaimer: Ditto from all chapters!

*~*~*

I cannot say that having met up with that child was a fortunate event in my life, not only did she annoy me greatly, but also tirelessly gave me something to worry about; yet I suppose I could call the greeting an interesting one, it may have even given me a wider perspective of the world around me.

Having just dropped Legolas off at Lady Arëdiel's home, I neither felt the need nor the urge to make my way toward the archery fields; I just didn't seem to be in the mood; this feeling was familiar to me, though often it did not exist in my carefree lifestyle, I knew it well, I was worried. A cool breathe of wind tousled my unkempt hair. 'I hate you.' My thoughts ran deep and penetrated my concentration. How could she have possibly said such forceful words with such ease? Could she not have known what they meant? A barrage of questions swirled in bewildering furry as I stood in deep reflection. 'They are only words…' 

In a final decision I retraced my steps and revisited the interiors of the house I had often played within as a child. 'In so many years, it still hasn't changed.' I smiled placing a gentle hand upon the smooth wall. 'If only that were true for everything.' I closed my eyes recalling an incident a few years back. 'If only…'

"Haldir? What's wrong?" Veruwen gazed at me innocently. 

While in my thoughts I had not yet acknowledged her presence. "Hm? Nothing, just – nothing." I began to realize how stupid I had been to let Alice's hasty retorts perturb me so deeply; my disposition changed drastically and I casually asked, "So, how is everything?"

"Oh fine, just fine." She smiled with glee clasping the silver tray tightly in her arms. "It isn't quite as boring as it had been before! Alice is quite the character isn't she?" I sensed a slight contempt in her voice as she phrased her last remark.

"Yes, she is." I said simply; my face expressionless.

"Though I can't say that she is all too well-taught in etiquette, quite rude at times, that child." 

I nodded soberly. "Yes, she can be."

"I mean really-" She stopped; and appeared to be listening intently to something of the sort. "Oh for goodness sake! There she goes again, she's been at that all morning!" 

It was soon enough before I realized what she was speaking of; quite faintly I heard the dim echo of a scream, in a hoarse voice I heard a most familiar voice call out, "Where the _fuck_ is the kitchen?!" I frowned having heard such crude words come from one so young. 'She holds much anger within her.' I sighed. 'It is truly disturbing.' 

"Will you not tell her where it is?" I raised an eyebrow; simply telling her where the kitchen is would have solved the problem and lifted a burden from all our shoulders. 

"Oh I have!" Veruwen laughed in hysteria. "Yet all I get in reply is an inarticulate 'Wha?' I mean, _really_!"

"Perhaps-" I stopped as the shout came again.  

"Where's the _friggin_' kitchen!?!" 

"You can-"

"The _freakin_' _kitchen_! Does this house not have a kitchen?!"

The vigorous screams were nearing.

"Where. Is. The. Friggin. Freakin. Fuggin. KIT-CHEN?!?!" There came a weak giggle. "Oo… dat sounds like some Chinese dude's name."

I began to wonder if Legolas could hear her. "Quite the screamer isn't she?" And yet again I recollected the child's previous statement that she 'hated' me.

"Unfortunately yes, something I hope to not have to live with forever." 

Forever… the idea never came to mind. 'Would Alice stay in Mirkwood for the rest of her life?' I had always thought of her as a passing phase, nothing but a hurdle in midst of the great length of life, though at that instant I was no longer so sure. 

'She's only a mortal.' Of that I was soon reminded as a gaunt girl trudged into view; she looked horrible. 'How could Veruwen and Istawen allow her to carry on like this? No matter how obnoxious she may be, this was simply appalling.' Her face was flushed in a deep red, beads of sweat sat lazily upon her face; she was slumped over like a wounded orc and she leaned against the wall as she came up to us. 

"Haldir, I'm _dying_." She croaked. "I'm going to die!" 

"You're not going to die." I sighed at her incessant lunacy.

"But before I die I must say something." She completely ignored my response. "One. Veruwen, you talk like some weird chick from the 1800s, and two. Haldir, I'm sorry I said I hated you. I didn't mean it." She whined. " Please forgive me, or you may soon be responsible for my very, very, very, very, _very_ gruesome death." 

"Is that a threat?" I frowned. 'Was she honestly sorry? Her composition seemed to prove otherwise.'

"Enh?" She looked at me wearily. "Sorry, but the brain ain't working right now, only the mouth."

I gave my response a moment of thought, 'She sincerely seems to be apologetic.' I looked at her face and sighed. 'Nothing will be accomplished through a grudge. Pitiful child.' At last I was able to wearily utter my reply, "You are forgiven." 

"Thank you. I'll never say I hate you again." Her childish naiveté surfaced again. "You know where the kitchen is?"

"Down the corridor to your right."

"Thanks." 

That was the last I saw of her that morning, of course if you count the brief glimpse that I caught of her in the kitchen. 

After she disappeared, Veruwen and I delved in deep dialogue. Apparently she was angered with Alice; evidently I was not surprised of her resent for the child but astonished by the level of the other Elf's anger. She's just a child, I would reason – children can be quite a handful, hence Legolas – yet her response clued me of a resent deeper than annoyance can cause. Our colourful exchange lasted briefly and we soon parted; Veruwen stormed off angrily – females, I shall never entirely understand them – and I, off to discover why Alice wanted to go to the kitchen in the first place and to also ask her a question (having nothing else to do at that time). 

Later, as I had strode passed the kitchen door I heard someone lazily singing…

"_-I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, when I'm all steamed up hear me shout! Tip, me over and poor me out. _Again. _I'm a little teapot_-"

'What in blazes is that child doing………?'

*

I was stoned. I felt stoned. Hack hack! Cough cough! 'I'm going to die.' I danced loftily around the kitchen in my "high" mood while waiting for the water to boil.

"Slow piece of crap."

I was going to do what Aragorn had did, I was going to put the athelas into a bowl of water and I was going to breath in the smell it made – sounds like a weird way of doing drugs. 

"Hurry up." I cried; I was running a really high fever. My muscles ached, my head hurt – with or without the yelling – and I wanted nothing more than to lie down forever but stupid Veruwen wouldn't let me sleep. 'Bitch.' She had said that it was un-lady-like. Well I'm not a lady, I told her, but the evil witch took my blankets away. 'Doesn't she know what a sick person looks like even if she's never been sick?!' I thought angrily. 'Crazy biatch.'

Humans are cursed…  

_______________

A/N: How old do you all think Alice is? Frankly, I can't decide on an age; she's basically 'teenaged' in my mind. Yeah, I know this is a self-insert but ummm… I don't think Alice's behaviour is appropriate for someone my age. I need another person's POV if you know what I mean.


	10. Due to My Blatant Mouth

A/N: I won't be responding to reviews anymore. I'm sorry! They take up time and energy. I love responding to you guys but lately I've been getting than I can manage. I hope you'll understand!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

~*~

A few days had passed since my dancing in the kitchen and I was up and running again, this time only to find that Haldir had been sent to Lothlorien on some sort of guard duty. It wasn't fair, now I was alone and bored with nothing to do. I woke up one morning feeling empty; thinking, '_What's there to live for if everyday is like this?_ ' I felt as if I had been kept in solitary confinement. '_What do these people live for?_ ' I rose from my bed and wandered absent-mindedly outside into the cold winter morning. 

It was noon. Lately, I had slept for long periods of time feeling tired and drained of my energy. I had done a lot of thinking the past few days and in a way regretted my decision in making a wish to come here. At least back at home I had something to work for, even if it was to better a dishonest community of politics and lies. But then, that's the same everywhere. '_What makes life so precious?_ 'I sat upon a fallen log playing with two sticks, using them as chopsticks to pick up stones. '_What makes it worth living? Of course by asking these questions I'm defying the law of nature. Perhaps people live because they've nothing else to do, or because they are afraid of death. Then maybe death is no different than being alive… maybe you're just leaving your body behind to go on another journey. Maybe people live to better themselves and those around them. That seems to be what Tolkien suggests… but then… why is MY life in Middle Earth so dull? Hmm… and what would be the difference between life and death when one's life seems so bare and boring…?' _

Cutting off my train of thought I shrugged, giving a short, "Huh." and bounced off towards the archery fields to ask one of the archers to teach me how to use a bow. _'That'll make my life more interesting; then I can brag to Haldir when he comes back._ ' I jumped off my log and skipped to the field, once in a while tripping on a few stray roots; I was in somewhat of a cheerful mood after my deep – well, deep for me at least – philosophical thoughts. 

As I neared, the twang of bows began to echo through the dense trees, whistling through the air, singing as they glided along. I could only make out a few Elves, their golden hair illuminated by the sunlight gave them away as they moved fluidly through the fields tending to their bows and arrows. Truly, a sight for sore eyes! I crept from tree to tree as the distance between the archers and I lessened; nevertheless, I held my grand entrance to a delay, wondering _how_ to ask one of them to teach me. It would certainly have been weird if I sauntered up to one of the Elves and said, "Please teach me how to wield-" No, I don't use the word 'wield'. Ok, 'Please teach me how to use a bow and arrow so that I can show off to Haldir when he comes back.' Of course, the poor Elf would be mad with curiosity and confusion; and maybe wouldn't have been able to understand me at all. 

"Hmm.." I wondered; spying at the creatures from behind a large tree. At the thought of being understood, I imagined myself walking up to them boasting, 'Hey, hey, hey, wassup ma homies?'. Ha! That would've just made them afraid of me. 

"Questions… questions… puzzles… riddles in the dark…" I mumbled inattentively.  

I won't bother to go into details since  the rest of the story is quite tedious. Due to my blatant mouth, I subconsciously shouted, "Haha! Loser!" when I saw one of the Elves miss the target off by a mile. Wasn't very nice… very uncharacteristic and stupid of me. Of course, I've already told you that my stupidity was beyond comprehension so I won't even bother to explain it. 

After I shouted my remark, the archer turned around and glared at me, retorting, "I can hardly believe that you can do better." Thus leaving me dumbstruck for a fraction of a second but only to reply, "I can try, but first you'll have to teach me how to use a bow and arrow." 

He snorted and said, "I will not!" 

And I said, "Don't make me beg."

And he said, "You annoy me." 

And I said, "Fine, you've pushed it far enough." and in the loudest voice I yelled, "PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! Please, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE!!!!!!!!" 

Of course the Elf was stunned, and all too embarrassed as all the other Elves in the field turned to look. "Stop it!" he hissed at me as I got on my hands and knees and crawled towards him. "I beg of you, stop!" 

At this I looked up and asked, "Will you teach me now?" and you know what he said? He said, "No." – very coldly too. But I wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily, so _I_ said, "Yes you will." 

And he said, "No I won't." 

And I said, "Yes, you will." 

And he said, "No, I will NOT." 

And I said, "Yes." 

And he said, "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes, yes, yes."

"No."

"Yes." 

"No." 

And then I got an idea, "No." I said.

"Yes." He replied stupidly.

I grinned in satisfaction, "Ha! So you will! Thank you!" I jumped up and gave him a hug as best as I could manage – due to my height – whilst the poor thing was still trying to figure out what happened. Ha hahaha!!! Geniuses will rule the world! 

"W-what?" he stammered, and when he finally got hang of things he screamed, "You tricked me!"

I let go of his neck grinning mischievously, then, trying to conjure up the most innocent look, "You were the one that said yes, it's not like I forced you or anything. Even ask these guys." I gestured at the Elves that had been watching our argument.

He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it, he did this several times – which made him look like a fish – but finally gave up and said, "Alright…"

~*~

For the next few weeks – I'm guessing weeks due to the change in seasons and also the fact that I didn't have a calendar – I spent a lot of time with Ranir, that was the Elf's name. He was younger than Haldir, almost my age, but he was _way_ tall. For the next while I stuck to him like glue, mainly since I had nothing else to do and that traveling with this guy was like getting dessert twice in a meal. I got to go into the palace when I followed him, and get my own bow and arrow and quiver and strap and all sorts of stuff! We were mutual friends, meeting only for archery purposes and nothing else; it was weird, I found it really hard to relate to him. But I suppose I was better off than when Haldir left and I was left alone, at least I had someone to talk to and something to do…


	11. Talk to the Foot

A/N: School sucks man, I've only got 2 weeks left; TWO!!!!!!!! I. Will. Survive. Geez… you know, haven't the teachers realized by now that us kids have already shut our brains down? I mean seriously, they just keep the work comin'! Heh, on another note, I apologize for not updating in so long. Seems I've gotten lazier, but fear not! Summer is near, and I shall but up and at'em by then. K, the rest of my author's note you don't have to read unless you want to; just a bunch of brainless babble about my life in these past two months. 

I'm writing this while waiting for something to download; my computer is MAD slow… it's crazy. I need to make it faster, faster, faster. Ow, I just bit myself while chewing gum. Ever try to get away with chewing gum in class? Well, not just _any_ gum NEON GREEN gum; quite inconspicuous is it not? Still I've got away with it once or twice, or think I have. Anywho, I'm just trying to stall the writing of my story, I know what's going to happen next, just not what's going to happen in this chapter… O.o K, ON with the Chapter!!!

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to do this not to get sued? Well… I don't own anything but Alice and that other guy whose-name-I-forgot-too-fast-that-I-added-last-chapter.  And the other evil lady chicks who think sleeping-in is a crime. Heh, don't feel bad if you don't remember all their names, cause, I don't either. AHAHA; I'm horrible…

~*~

"In these past seasons, sire, the Dwarves have been acting with utmost secrecy." The Captain of the troops of Mirkwood spoke quickly as they powered through the halls. "It seems that their forces have began to press forward. Yet what puzzles me most, sire, is their tactics in advance; it is as if they knew the exact alignments of our troops. This has led us to believe that they have sent scouts to seek out our movements, yet none, to my knowledge, have yet to be captured."

King Thranduil paused cautiously and stared blankly to the path ahead of them. "Curious…" he then turned to the Captain. "At what time did they begin their advances?"

"Two seasons ago."

"No scouts?"

"No, sire."

"Hmm…" The King concluded and began walking again. "And there haven't been any strange figures appearing lately? Or at the time of their advance?" 

"No, sire. Not unless you would include the mysterious girl whom Haldir came upon." The Captain chuckled but abruptly stopped as Thranduil halted in his steps and frowned. "You don't think that… but that is preposterous sire! She came a season before their advance." 

The King's brows furrowed further, his raven hair swayed violently as he swiveled his head to meet the Captain. "Did Haldir not comment that her height is similar to that of a Dwarf?"

"But, sire, it is obvious that she is of the Race of Man. It has come to my knowledge that Dwarven maidens possess beards…" The Captain's hand gestures suggested that he was stroking an invisible beard. "She obviously does not have one. Yet, if we were to say that she was a scout that clued the Dwarves in on our strategy, why would a girl of the Race of Man be doing with Dwarves? She is much too far away from home."

"Perhaps she was adopted by the Dwarves at a very young age." 

"She's too irresponsible, too wild to be tamed-"

"I will not have anything that will endanger my people!"

"Sire-" The Captain sighed. "You must be reasonable, whichever conclusion it is, what is it that you will do with her? She has no other place to stay."

"So you put her above the Elves that you have been raised to love? If she is an ally of the Dwarves, they will take care of her."

"And if she is not, sire? She is a child, she cannot… she _will_ not survive."

Thranduil remained silent; it seems that much debate went on in his mind. "If she is not… then I must hope that she will remain well out on her own. I would much rather one die, than many. You understand Captain, do you not? I cannot afford to take the risk."

"But the facts-!"

"The facts! I shall have you know that lately that child has been attached to Ranir like a shadow; she follows him and asks him many questions. She wants to learn the art of archery – a skill that Dwarves do not know." The Young King waived his arms dramatically. "I have heard from Lady Arëdiel, she informs me that the child disappears off into the forest every morning without telling anyone where she is going. Are those not facts? Do they not prove her as a scout?" 

The Captain remained speechless; his beautiful Elven eyes were faced towards the ground. "What are we to do?" He mumbled tonelessly. 

"We must rid of her, any way possible. Lead her away from here."

"Perhaps… perhaps… we should provide her with provisions, in case… she is not a scout?" 

"Very well… I very much doubt that she will be able to attack us with _her_ skills; it will do no harm to do such." Thranduil thought for a moment. "We shall wait for Haldir's return; she trusts him the most. She will be allowed a horse, Yeivyl, no Elf at this moment has any need of him and he can successfully find his way home if something should happen. A bow, a quiver, food, garments, and a dagger will be provided for her."

The Captain nodded in agreement and made his leave, shaking his head back and forth with sadness. It was hard for him to believe that such a child could be a scout for the Dwarves. But worse off, it was harder for him to believe that, even with a great chance of her being completely innocent, they were still going to send her off into the depths of Mirkwood where even the greatest Elf could not venture through and be sure that he will come out alive. 

*

"Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the park, buy me some peanuts and a cracker jacks, la-lala la-la la-la-la-la-la-la, dooot doot doot I don't know the words to these lines… haha!" I laughed at my forgetfulness. "RANIR!!!!!!!!!" 

I was lying down on the grass in the glade of the archery field; fall was gone and winter too, now it was spring. Everything was green, very pretty. It was all a sea of different tones, blended into an artists' splendid palette, ready to create something wonderful.

"Ranir!!!" I shouted blindly. He had gone off into the woods a while back and hadn't come back, or if he had, didn't want me to know about it. "Yo homie!!! Mi amigo!!! Mon ami? Mi amore? Wait no, that means 'my love'. Baka! RA-NIR!!!!!!!! My butt fell asleep and I need you to drag me back to the house… Rani?"

I sighed in disappointment and closed my eyes, still quietly calling for Ranir. It wasn't long before a huge dark blotch towered over me; I squinted to see who it was but failed due to the lack of light. Yet it was to my great luck that he spoke.

"If it will help to keep you quiet, I'll have you know that Ranir has been summoned to King Thranduil." He paused and glanced around. "Now get up, Lady Arëdiel says that your supper has been prepared." 

"Gah?!" I questioned. "Haldir?"

"Yes… it is I." He replied almost sadly. 

"Well, I missed you too." I jumped up from the nest of grass I had formed on the ground and stood face to face with Haldir. "So, what's up?"

A look of apathy arose upon his face, "I refuse to answer any question that has been said with your use of _slang_ terms. I care not of what is _up_." 

We began towards the trees near the house; of course it really wasn't a house but it is _much_ more easier to refer to it as such.

"Haldir?"

"Yes."

"Where were you when you were away?"

"Lórien."

"Why?"

"My brother."

"Why?"

"If I wanted you to know, I would tell you."

"Why?"

"Will you stop pestering me?!"

"Why?"

"Stop it!"

"Why?"

"Argh…." He shook his head and quickened his pace. "I despise you." I heard him whisper faintly.

But suddenly, it hit me like a bullet, it hadn't bothered me when he said it before but now it hurt. Yet I knew what was wrong, he had said it one too many times and it finally sank in, he might just be telling the truth. _What if he does hate me?_ I asked myself. I have never thought if he meant it until now; people don't say 'I hate you' right after they come back from a long trip. _I don't want to be hated… Maybe I go too far, what if all of them are right about me being too annoying? _

I looked up at him trudging ahead of me, and cast my eyes down. "Sorry…" 

With that Haldir stopped and turned. "I beg your pardon?" He had obviously heard me.

"I said, 'Sorry'. I didn't mean to make you mad." I choked; apologies to Haldir just weren't my thing.

He grinned. "I couldn't hear you. Speak up please."

"I said, 'I'm sorry.' Ok?" I wrinkled my nose. "Don't need to rub it in, apologizing to you is hard enough. And frankly I don't like it."

That dumb Elf just laughed, "Apology accepted."

"So we're on mutual grounds now right?"

"Of course, and since when were we not?" He raise an eyebrow.

I sputtered a little and replied with a bit of irritation in my voice.  _How can he say that he hates me and not care?_ "Well I just thought that… when you said that you hated me… I took it personally because you know, things mean more to you than it would to me and when you say, I hate you, it probably has more meaning than my, I hate you's would mean, you know?"

He scoffed. "You have to, as you would say it, take… a _chill_,_ pill_, man." Haldir looked at me curiously; a shiny light of which my likes had never seen, sparkled in his eye. "That is correct is it not? A _chill_, _pill_?" 

"Yeah, that's right." I looked at him suspiciously; then out of nowhere I said, "K, what kind of drug are you on? You're _way_ too happy to be Haldir."

"Drug?"

"You know what? Forget it."

"No, please, tell me."

"Talk to the foot." I stuck out my tongue and dashed to the house leaving Haldir confused and insulted. 

"I beg your pardon…?" 

____________________________

A/N: AHHH!!! Don't go and complain to me about the fact that there was no war or attack or confliction between the Dwarves and Mirkwood, it'll all be explained later. And Thranduil's a bit out of character and loony in this chapter but only because I never figured out _how_ to portray him; if you've read "Where Poppies Blow" you'll find that he's REALLY loony in that one. See what a horrible writer I am? Oh yeah, more will be explained in later chapters. Toodles!  


	12. You Need A Shrink

A/N: Hot diggiddy my ass just fell asleep… I was going to wait until I finished my website to upload this but o well.. it's taking too long to build. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

~*~ 

"So… tell me again, why you were in Lórien?" I took another bit of the sweet cake in my hands and looked up at Haldir. A butterfly fluttered past him as he gently examined his bow. The archery fields were empty once again, just as it had been the day before when Haldir returned. Now we sat bathed in the mid-day sunlight eating the sweet cakes that we – meaning Legolas, Haldir and I – helped to make the night before. It was fun spending time with Legolas; he was a sweet kid, and besides he thought I was _okay_, unlike someone else I know. I had wanted him to come with us, but Lady Arëdiel would not allow it and hurried him back to his studies. 

"Well…?" I asked impatiently. 

The Elf set down his bow and sighed. "My brother was injured and they needed someone else to stand in as a guard - " 

"But why _you_?"

" – someone with similar skills as Orophin." 

"Oh… I see. Wow, is the job _that_ important? I mean… geez."

"Yes, I would say that guarding the boundaries of Lórien is important." His fingers combed through the grass leaving temporary rivulets along the surface. But during his little combing phase he stopped as a sudden thought struck him and he smiled. "What did _you_ do when I was away? I wonder… who is it that you annoyed when I was not present?"

"Meh… this dude named Ranir." I replied dully waving my hands in a gesture. "He's a funky one that Ranir. Liked his privacy a lot. Like, not in a normal sense but in a really freaky-that-you'd-think-he-was-up-to-some-dirty-work sort of way." 

Haldir laughed. "I suppose that privacy is another thing that differ in our worlds." 

"Ha. Guess so. Your version of 'normal' privacy is what we would say as a little 'too' much privacy if ya know what I mean. Ya'know. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Hint, _hint!_" I laughed unaware of Haldir looking at me like a lunatic.

"Hint… hint…" He raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Sadly… I believe that I may even understand what it is that you are hinting about…"

My eyes shot up like bullets and my mouth dropped with speed that challenges that of light. "W-wha?!?!?! You're not serious… Hahaha. O my gawd. Well, I guess now you know what _I_ think about 'males'." 

Once again he laughed. "Well, we Elves are not at all like you think." 

"Oh really now?"

"Yes."

"Uh huh…" I replied sarcastically. 

"No, Elves are really quite different from Man."

"I'm _sooooo_ sure…" I laid down on the grass and stared up at the pale blue sky.

"Yes I am quite sure. I find it difficult to believe that you find it difficult to believe me!" He cried, steamed. Although I couldn't see his facial expression, I think it must've been an angry one. 

"Not this again…" I moaned. "You get mad too easily. You know, _just_ when we're having a good time you have to go a blow a gasket!" I felt my voice raise. "I'm mean really Haldir, can't you go _one_ friggin' day without having a god-damned heart attack?!" 

"No, I find that _extremely_ difficult, especially when you are in my presence!" Haldir stood up with rage. 

"Okay man, you have _serious_ anger management problems! Go see a fukkin' Elvish shrink or something!" I yelled, sitting up again. "Then _he _can tell what a real hotplate you are and maybe _then_ it'll sink into that dense head of yours!" 

"You. Are-" He puffed but held whatever he was going to say back and just stood there staring- no _glaring_ down at me. 

And so we glared, for minutes on end, unable to utter another word. It was like one of those funky periods in a movie where the people are all just silent and you're sitting there waiting for what'll come next. Well… _this was it!_ I mean, you could just _see_ the little tumbleweed tumbling passed us and the breeze and _everything_. The birds sang quietly during our little staring contest, all I could think about then was how much I wanted another sweet cake. I couldn't care less how this all turned out… _as long as I got that last sweet cake!_ I felt my hand surreptitiously begin to slide over to the- _No!_ I thought to myself and mentally slapped my hand and tried to shake off the feeling of hunger.  

But at long last I couldn't stand it anymore. "You gonna eat that?"

"No, it's quite all right. You take it." The Elf looked gracefully around and sat himself back down. "So, what else did you do when I was away?"

"Well…" I began with a smile…

__________

A/N: Finished this chapter a while ago, just kept it down because I wanted to do a few more things with it because currently this chapter has no purpose, but unfortunately I didn't have the time, what with volunteering, hip hop, leadership, figure skating, L.I.T, and school, o yes school, there wasn't much I could do and some were growing impatient and asking if I had abandoned this fic so yeah, I updated. But I must confess, I'm on the brink of abandoning it, or at least revising it. O well. I HOPE to update soon. Don't count on it though. Hmm.. I'll just set a date. Next update will be October 15. Every ten days. Alright. If I don't stick by that, I'll knock myself over with a broom. 


	13. An Illusion

A/N: I'm going through tons to get this chapter out today. Staying up until the wee hours… with SCHOOL the next day. O well… Better write this than have it looming over my head. Hmm… I'll post this tomorrow morning. God knows how long it takes for it to update now… I swear, once it took it around 12 hours. But I suppose it all depends… I don't know how long it takes now, and that completely whacks me off because I don't have control and when I can't control what I'm doing… I… well, you don't want to know. I'm not a control freak or anything, it's just that I like things being consistent; I like to adjust what I can that is within my power. W/e. Ugh! I've been so frustrated lately! I can hardly get any time to myself what with chores, homework, and all my other extra classes. I can barely get any time to myself, and when I do my parents force me to play with my little sister who's THE biggest brat. *sigh*

O, and in address to "anonymous", I thank you for pointing that out. If you had never told me I never would have thought much of it; I'll take it into account and try as best I may to add more depth into Alice's character. 

And… there was another reviewer that wanted to know Alice's age (sorry for not addressing you by name, I can't view any of my reviews right now, the page just refuses to load; even the pages to my story. Crappy internet!) well… I think I've finally decided on her age. She's 13; well… 14, now that she's been in Middle Earth for a while now. Her birthday's December 14. Yes a winter baby; and no, that's not my birthday… nor my age, well not quite. Mmm… I kinda want her to be a bit older; but if I were to heighten the age, her behavior would not match. It doesn't matter right now though, she'll grow older as the story continues. Worry not, I still have quite a few things planned ahead. 

AND SO YOU CAN SEE THIS SINCE YOU ALL PROBABLY SKIP MY A/N'S. THE NEXT UPDATE DATE WILL BE 2 WEEKS FROM NOW. OCT….SOMETHING. I GOT CONFUSED BEFORE. SORRY. I THOUGHT TODAY WAS THE 15TH. AI. I STAYED UP TIL' 1 IN THE MORNING ON THURSDAY. I TRIED GUYS. I REALLY TRIED TO GET IT UP IN TIME AND IN MY MIND I HAD, BUT FOR SOME REASON I THOUGHT FRIDAY WAS THE 15TH. AS YOU CAN SEE, I DON'T HAVE A CALENDER. OK, I'LL KNOCK MYSELF OVER WITH A BROOM NOW…  

Disclaimer: Own. Nothing. Take it or leave it. *smiles…?* Please don't sue me…

~*~

"Haldir, do you know why you have been summoned?" Kind Thranduil sat placidly upon his thrown, his long dark hair slept on his shoulders.

It had been a week since Haldir returned to the forest of Mirkwood, and six days since he and his brawl with Alice. They had gotten along quite well after that; it seemed that their friendship grew in those days and their understanding of each other's differences evolved also. After a few days together, they seemed to have overcome their differences and confided within each other what they cannot say to others; how much they longed for their home; Alice and her world, and Haldir and his Lórien. It is said that what we have in common brings us together, and what sets us apart brings us even closer.

"No my lord, I'm afraid I do not." Haldir stood sternly before the Kind of Mirkwood. His head slightly bowed. There was something not right in the eyes of Thranduil, and he had seen it the moment he spoke. Something… that would result in great calamity, and bring unrest to his heart. 

"That is as I thought. You know of this Alice girl do you not? The one that you brought here?" 

Haldir nodded.

"Well then… I shall put it simply… I know not how else to say it…" Thranduil's words were hesitant, yet in the back of his mind, he knew what he must do. 

Haldir looked up. "Yes my lord…?" His brow furrowed, he knew this wasn't going to be good.

"I need you to lead her away from us. She will be given provisions and Yeivyl, the white stallion of course. But you must get ride of her."

The words echoed through the hall like the remnants of moisture clinging to the air as the raindrops from an afternoon rain halts. "My lord?" 

"She may be a scout of the Dwarves. She must not stay." Thandruil's stern eyes searched that of Haldir's, he was waiting for a protest from the Elf, and it came, without warning or thought.

"No! Not her! It cannot be! Sire you are mistaken!" Haldir did not shout, but in his voice was an air of desperation as he beseeched the King to reconsider. " I have spent time with this girl; she may be highly fatuous and ill-tempered but she is no scout! She will not lie to me!" 

The King almost smiled at his correct sense of judgment. "Do you disobey my orders Haldir?"

The great Elf stood as a great turmoil roused from deep within him; then with a great sigh he heaved, "No sire. It shall be done." And without another word he left, he did not wait for the King's answer, nor for any further instructions. He merely turned after he said this and made for the door…

~

There is nothing to say. I no longer want to think of this pestilent problem. It is for the best of Mirkwood; that is why I and the other guards have been sent here, to ensure its safety. The remaining of those whom visit Mirkwood; to protect it from the onslaught of the nearing war of Dwarves and Elves. Mirkwood's safety. It is all that matters. _And the safety of the girl does NOT matter?_ No. That is not my duty; _she_, is not my duty. I take orders from the King; I cannot disobey. _She will not survive…_ That I do not know for sure. _But it is most likely._ It does not matter. _It matters. _No. _Yes, and you know it. In your heart you know it._ It doesn't matter, not anymore. _She will DIE alone in the forest Mirkwood! _It doesn't matter! SHE IS NOT MY DUTY! 

I looked up and saw that I was nearing Lady Arëdiel's home and I sat down.

I don't want to think anymore…

~

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" The teen clapped her hands happily as she sat across the table from Legolas, who, likewise, mimicked her motions. 

"Hehehaha!" He smiled widely as his hands clapped furiously and his giggles streamed through the library's aisles and walkways. 

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!" She sang loudly.

Legolas followed. "If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if your happy and you know it, clap your hands!" 

The two giggled up a storm as Haldir somberly sauntered into the study area. His face was drawn as if he had disturbing thoughts welling within him. Alice looked up at him and frowned. She opened her mouth to say something but then he smiled. Perhaps she saw through it, or maybe she was just too distracted to see, but this was a smile of sadness. It was an illusion. 

"Come Alice! I have something to show you!" Haldir chimed excitedly, but of course, it was an innuendo of a cheerful voice; of a great suggestion. 

Her ears perked up slightly and she jumped from her seat. "Really?! Where?!?! What is it?!" 

Haldir smiled, a sad smile, at her enthusiasm. 

Legolas, seeing this and not wanting to miss out, gasped. His big blue eyes grew even bigger. "Can I come too Haldir? Pleeeease? I promise I'll be good and finish my studies! I wanna see! Haldir! Please Haldir?" 

The older Elf chuckled. "I think Lady Arëdiel would much rather you stay here-" he gave a side glance towards the tutor who's frown no one saw save himself. "and I may believe that I have already shown this surprise to you already. There is no need for you to miss your studies to come along to see something that you've already seen." He babbled; obviously not a very good liar. 

Yet nonetheless, the two younger children bought his pitiful excuse and went along with it…

~

"Pack your things. All of your possessions."

Alice made a face. "Why?"

"Because, it takes days to journey to where we are going. You will need all your garments." It was a lie of course. It was all a lie, even what he said in the library; and Lady Arëdiel had known it… 

"Hmm." She nodded as if understanding. "Good point." 

She young girl went around her room gathering up the number of feeble possessions that she had: some clothes, a hairbrush, a wooden girl that she had dared Haldir to carve (this is altogether another story), her Elven crafted shoes, a few autumn leaves and a fabric bag in which she had forced Veruwen to teach her how to make. Yet in all this time of packing and hustle and bustle, she had never given it another thought; a thought that this may go awry; a thought that not all was right. However, in all her innocence she trusted Haldir; much like an older brother and in a that deep sense of reliability, she never would have thought of him leading her astray… In all her stupidity; in all her years of never allowing herself to be dependent on others, she chose this time to allow herself to be vulnerable; and it was idiotic of her to do so. 

The Elf stuck his head in her room, "All ready?" 

"Yum hum!" She chirped.

"Good. Your horse is all ready. Come. The others are waiting." 

"Others?" She asked as she followed him through the halls.

They had left the house and had now begun to mount their horses as the others waited patiently for them upon their beasts. "Yes, we will need to journey through the forest of Mirkwood. We cannot go alone." Haldir looked at her once more as she attempted to mount Yeivyl. "Here, let me help you." Kindly he gave her a lift and she was on horseback in no time. 

She smiled triumphantly. "Okay! Let's go!"


	14. My Pal Bob

A/N: K, I'm no longer making promises I can't keep. Sorry for not updating.. gar. But can you guys do me a favour and go to my site and join the forums? So far I have only a few members, if you all could spare some time? It's a forum especially dedicated to Fanfiction.Net and Fictionpress.com authors, and there, you can chat about Lotr/anime/or whatever and also advertise your fics. I also wanted authors to be able to communicate with each other more intimately than reviews and less personal than IM. I also wanted to help struggling writers or just create a site for those who just love to write. So please support my cause and join? The link to my site is on my bio for "homepage", when you get there click "forums". Thank you!! Although there's not much to show for now, I'm working really hard on it. 

P.S. Mind the Elvish, I'm tired and they're not completely accurate English translations.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

~*~

The sun's last rays trickled from the leaves of the trees as the small company finally concurred upon the idea of resting. To this, Alice was genuinely grateful, she was weary of riding on a horse without a thing to do, for none of the Elves spoke, save Haldir, and even with him there lacked subject to talk about. He seemed vague and distant, almost sad, but when she went to ask him why he stuttered and turned away. 

"Dude, Haldir what's up with you?" Alice inquired as she organized the piece of ground in which she was to sleep and sat down.

The Elf looked up from the saddles of his horse, "Hmm? It's nothing." He said swiftly.

"Doesn't look like _nothing_." Alice retorted, and as she said this, a few Elves turned their heads tensely. 

They were to rest for the night and before dawn, head back to the Palace, leaving her here at the very edge of Mirkwood forest. Some felt suspicious and were afraid that she had deciphered their plans; but as Haldir had assured them earlier on, that was hardly probable.  

"I'm…" Haldir fumbled to say. "I'm merely excited, that's all."

Alice raised an eyebrow curiously, "Well you have a weird-ass way of showing it." Her eyes followed Haldir as he made his way to one of the other Elves, whom looked tense, and spoke with him. Then, her attention fell upon the feeble amount of Elves who had accompanied them. _Something weird is going on._ Her eyelids drooped slightly as she turned to give the surrounding forest another quick glance. _Maybe they're just worried about the orcs._ The sun had almost set, leaving the trees shrouded in an ethereal blue light. There came more worried glances from the Elves. _Whatever they've got their pants in a bunch about.. I don't care. Too.. _Alice yawned and pulled her blanket over her body as she lay down. _Tired…_

~

"_Teli._" Haldir whispered urgently as the sun peaked over the horizon. "_Noro!"_

Lilan, the Elf whom Alice had seen Haldir talking to before, awoke from his dreams. He saw that Haldir and the others had already packed their possessions and were readily mounted. His eyes widened with revelation and he sprang from his sheets to ready his beast.

"_Noro!"_ He heard once again. [Hurry! Hurry!] 

Breathlessly, Lilan gathered his belongings and after seating himself upon his horse, asked, "[why didn't you all wake me?]" 

~

I woke up to greet the cold mist that hovered over my body. Shivering, I groggily sat up and adjusted my eyes to my current surroundings. 

"Hey, where is everybody?"  I shivered slightly as I pulled my blankets around myself. While doing so, I noticed a note of some kind fall from them. Still shivering with goosebumps on my arms, I extended my hand to attain it. The words written on it were of a strange context in which I piteously attempted to make out, however my efforts were in vain. Yet, not all hope was lost; I soon came to find that they were indeed not Elven, Dwarven, nor of Hobbits. _Soo…_ I concluded. _They must be Westron. _

I cocked me head and turned to speak with the horse I rode, my only companion, "Which makes sense you know, considering that I _supposedly_ speak Westron, so then one would assume that I was able to _read_ it." 

I looked at the note once more; it was quite long and a bit soggy from the mist. "_However_, umm.. what was your name again? Bob you say? Alright Bob. _However_ I technically do _not_ speak Westron, at least not by my own terms and am yet here-on, unable to read it. Perhaps I should wait until the others get back from where-ever they've gone.. or.. perhaps you can read it. Can you read it Bob? No. What's that? You can only read Elvish… pah.. that's a shame. If only this was in Elvish. Well, no point in whining." 

The fog had come on stronger than ever and my surroundings began to frighten me. I could no longer see very clearly through it and with the fog all about, I felt that even ordinary trees were deadly beasts shielding themselves behind veils of milky white. Fearing my imagination when it came to thinking about fear, I bundled up my belongings and made my way over to Bob when suddenly, I heard something. It was a queer noise, a gurgling noise that spooked me through and through. My heart raced, and my eyes darted. Bob must have heard it too for his head shot up and he gave me this look that screamed, "Let's get out of here!"  I was more than happy to oblige; hurrying along I stuffed my blankets in my pack along with my other things and mounted Bob with no fuss (for he was being cooperative this time). 

I gazed around the area once more to see if I had forgotten something and then realized that the note had accidentally fallen to the ground. "Bob let me down I have to go get it." Yet he refused and whinnied in protest as the noises closed in all around. My heart caught in my throat, it was between the note and our lives. And in a swift decision… I felt that no note was worth it. No matter what content was inside…

"C'mon, lets get out of here!" I whispered frantically. 

My white buddy made no delay and swiftly carried us out of there. 

We cantered on for about 20 minutes when I finally grew weary of holding on for dear life and persuaded Bob to stop. By now we had traveled away from the forest and into an area of hills and rocks. _Where are we?_ From my geographic skills of Middle Earth, I knew that Mirkwood was not far ways away from Rivendell or even the Shire. Well, at least it was closer than Lórien and Rohan and Minas Tirith; in retrospect, it all depended on _where_ from the forest I had come out. But then again.. my geography skills were never really that good. 

"Bob lets take a rest." I moaned. "I'm tired." 

The white stallion snorted in disagreement.

"What do you mean it's too dangerous here?" I hugged his neck. "Too far in the open you say? And what? Too close to Mirkwood…ugh… _orcs_?! Ok, ok, you lead on… man.. I wish I knew what was on that note." I looked in my pack for some food and realized that one of my blankets had fallen out. _Oh great.. well, at least I have another one._

~

They swiftly guided their beasts through the forest as the smothering fog blanketed the forest. _The spiders will be abroad._ Haldir's mind raced. _I hope they don't get to her. Oh Eru! Don't let them get her!_ The company moved quickly, it was mid-morn and at this rate they would return to Mirkwood Palace by noon. Yet despite their efforts to avoid the attention of the spiders, they soon heard the scampering of legs and the eerie gurgling sound that they made.

"_Ungwe ephel!_" [Spider web fencings!] Lilan gasped. 

Many others halted their beasts and they knew they were surrounded. "_Anca!"_ [There are jaws!]

"[draw you swords!]" Haldir commanded. 

The Elves were easily outnumbered 20 to 8 and the fog made it a huge disadvantage for them to stage a battle, yet if they were to ever return to the palace alive, fight they must. Haldir knew the movement of spiders well, they scurried quickly; his eyes followed the blurry figures and drew arrows from his quiver. _Voosh!_ One. He heard more arrows flying through the air and the sound of crumpling spiders. Their horses reared and whinnied with fear as the spiders drew closer from all around. _Wiish! _Two. 

Three. 

Four.

Five.

There were too many, and they were too close. Haldir drew his knives and ripped them through a spider that was right at the foot of his beast. He panted as he fended off more oncoming fiends. 

"Ahh!" He heard a scream. Everything was a blur of gold, and white and black and red; who had screamed? Haldir turned frantically trying to determine the owner. 

"_Haldir! Lilan _[is injured and his horse is dead]!" 

"[we must retreat] _Haldir!_" 

"[we're outnumbered]!"

The Great Elf sighed, they were right, "[Retreat]!" he called as he made his way towards Lilan who was on the ground bleeding profoundly from his thigh. He dropped the sword in his right hand and hauled him onto his beast. "[C'mon Lilan, let's get you home]." 

The company powered through forest leaving the battered spiders behind to feed on the flesh of their fallen horse. They didn't stop until they reached the safety of Mirkwood Palace. Lilan was immediately rushed to the Houses of Healing and Haldir retreated to his chambers to lie in bed, exhausted. But his peaceful time alone was short-lived as a messenger soon came running in with a request from the King to see him. Obediently Haldir slid from his bed and trudged through the halls to the throne-room; the moment he entered he was battered with questions. 

"Haldir what happened out there?!" Thranduil demanded.

The Elf looked dully into his King's eyes and replied, "The fog was strong and we were attacked by spiders." 

For the rest of the evening Thranduil made him retell every little aspect of the journey: had he seen Dwarves? How many spiders? Was anyone else injured? It was hours before Haldir was able to return to his chambers and without any meals he collapsed on his bed and tried to fall asleep. The night passed quickly but not soundly for Haldir. He could not keep his mind off of Alice, he could not help to think that she and Yeivyl were suffering the same fate as Lilan's horse. It nagged him. It nagged him so much so that he hardly slept that night and when he went to greet Legolas in the clear, bright morning, the little Elf inquired as to where the girl was. And Haldir could no longer bear the tension, he made for the stables as soon as he dropped Legolas off and headed right back into the forest. Many inquired as to why Haldir was acting so strange, but most, like Lilan, thought that he was going to retrieve his knife back as it was very precious to him. However they were wrong, he went back not for the weapon, but to keep a promise. 

He had been the first to awaken the day they were to leave Alice, and as he sat there looking at her sleeping innocently upon the ground wrapped in her blankets his heart clenched and he knew he couldn't do it. So assuming she could read Westron, he wrote her a note. In the note he revealed everything to her, about the King Thranduil and the abandonment, but he promised her that he'd be back for her and take her to Rivendell for safe-keeping until he thought of a better idea. His mind snapped out of the memory as he reached the spot where he dropped his knife; he found that the horse carcass was already gone, having no idea that those spiders devoured their meals so quickly. Picking up his knife, he was more eager now to see if she was all right. Yet when he had finally arrived at the place where he had left her, it was empty save his note all tattered up and torn and remnants of spider footprints. His heart dropped. _She's dead._ He dismounted and put the note in his tunic. _There are so many spider footprints…_ He sighed to himself. _I can't even see hers or __Yeivyl's_. 

"No, I mustn't give up." He yelled, challenging fate. "She's alive, I know it!" 

Haldir circled around a few more times to look for traces of her; it was a lost cause… until… he found her blanket. Yet like the note it was ripped and torn and even contained traces of blood. And then he gave in. And shook his head sadly as he headed back to the palace, feeling as if he'd lost someone truly dear to him…


	15. Mysterious Stranger

**A/N:** This chapter was half-written a week before exams and now, the rest is written in the beginning of July. The 7th to be exact…har… I really need to practice and study for my stupid music exams the end of this summer… the stress…

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I own nothing. Should make a limerick out of this, if you're gonna have to hear it every chapter, why not make it enjoyable? Oh, but this time I have something extra to disclaim; it's a quote, a little sentence that I took from Full Metal Alchemist, or an idea at least.

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A shadow of gloom hovered upon the Elf's graceful appearance as he rode unhurriedly back to the palace. There was much on his mind; it seems that in realization of the gravity of one's death, one begins to lose faith…

_I thought I could save lives…_ Haldir's eyes clouded with the onslaught of tears that flowed from his heart. _I've never lost a battle; never lost an Elf in a battle… I was so confident that I knew everything._ The Elf scoffed cruelly at his own arrogance, his hand released the reigns, brushing away his liquid sorrow. _But today… I couldn't even save the life of a child. Who am I to be commander of a troop of Elves? Who am I to put the lives of so many on the line for my own whimsical wishes?_

He reached the empty stables near the evening and made his way to his chambers. A few Elves stared at him with confusion as they saw his tear-stained cheeks but said nothing of it. As he reached his chambers he thought of all those he had passed; would he be able to save them from peril when the time came? When the Dwarves declare war, will he be able to protect them all? He shook his head, gazing stubbornly at his blistered hands. _Who am I to be responsible for so many! I may be immortal… I may be a commander… a warrior…but in the end, I am none of those things… in the end… I'm still an Elf! _Haldir's eyes filled with anger; enraged at how vulnerable he truly was. Taking grasp of silver knife, he threw it forcefully at the opposite wall. It clanged loudly in protest as its sleek body fell to the ground where is glistened in the moonlight. _Immortality… the world is so cruel… _The Elf fell to his knees, unable to control the storm of emotions that fought within him. _Why am I able to live forever, when others have lived no longer than 13 seasons? _

_"_I am cursed…t-this… world is cruel…" The Elf grumbled breathlessly between bursts of sobs, as his fist smashed ferociously into the ground, "Why am I immortal when I cannot even prevent the deaths of others!"

"Fine I'm sorry!" Alice groaned as the impatient horse grunted lazily from where he lay. "Ok, ok, I won't call you lazy anymore, _even though you are_, since you were so kind as to carry me on your back for the whole day to this middle-of-nowhere."

They had found shelter near a clutter of small trees and rested beneath the branches. The Brunette clung tightly to her blanket as her eyes gazed up into the nightly heavens above, her thoughts again wandering off to inquire about the note in which she had dropped earlier. She had cajoled Bob into telling what his thoughts were, after a series of whines and pleas he finally gave in and simply stated that he believed it was Haldir who left the note, perhaps as either a warning or- and then he had broken off to eat some nearby grass.

At last Alice fell asleep, her head resting against the trunk of the nearby tree. The moon slightly illuminated her childish face as she slept soundly through the night…

The girl awoke with a shudder, a cold wet cloth stroked against her face, to which, she responded with an annoyed grunt. But when she heard a loud neigh in her ears she soon realized that it was no cloth.

"Ahhhh… my ears man! Holy-!" She immediately stopped as a sharp blade touched the skin of her neck. "Whoa…"

Alice squinted her eyes against the morning sun, making out a dark tall figure standing next to Yeivyl holding what looked like a sword against her.

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**A/N:** You know what? The A/N up there was written when I wrote this chapter, and this A/N is from now. I was waiting for myself to finish this chapter.. but seeing as I haven't been working on it for about a year now I might as well post it. See! I've been thinking of you readers all year long, but I just never got around to finishing it.cry I think I'll start writing again… maybe finish Swept Away and then plan something else. Yes, short chapter, I know. Next will be hopefully be longer, and come within March, cross your fingers. 


	16. Abandonment

**A/N:** Lol, really, TRULY apologetic loves. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. There's no excuse really, there is no excuse; just that I'm really lazy. But, lol, oh my, I'm listening to this really giddy song my friend sent me "O-zone - Dragostea din tei" and I was reading the story again because I'd forgotten a few of the plot points and I've concluded that I'm quite an insane person. I'm really sorry for not updating guys, I've been reading reviews and I feel so guilty for letting so many of you down. TT Well, I shall try to finish it this summer, either way I'm stuck home a lot; in my house, that doesn't have any air conditioning. As well, it' s like 30 degrees Celsius outside in the evening and oh my oh my.. I die. However, I shall live. Nya. As well, shall be responding to reviews again.

**Disclaimer:** I disclaim ownership (I don't believe there were many claims in the first place) of any of Mr. Tolkien's original characters.

**Review responses:**

emma: Short it is, I promise this chapter will be longer.

Saltwater: LOL, I read your review and wow, it has put me in such a good mood. Thank you for you kind words and your wonderful (similar to mine) sense of humour. I feel honoured to be looked-upped-to. TT Thus I shall continue and not let ye down!

SchizoAndroid: Worry not, I have returned. I apologize for once again letting you guys down. --; I'm learning to be more responsible now.

Danigrebel: I know the chapter's late, I hope you can forgive me. And Bob.. err.. she's just delusional.

MyOnlyCat: Indeed. And here is your update, hopefully it will be as enjoyable as the ones before.

A person: I know, cliffhangers are evil things. LOL. I am continuing now! And thank you for your kind words.

Jenn: Ahhh… the identity of the sword-holder will (obviously) be revealed in this chapter. Lol, as well I enjoy writing Alice's and Haldir's strange banters.

Almenel: Hahaha, yes, finally. I apologize again for the lateness and for making so many false promises.

Caffeinated-Maniac: LOL, I love your name. And the mystery of the strange shall be unwound this chapter.

ShadowTsunami: Yes I believe that the Elves of Mirkwood may be nuts if they trust some girl only by her humming, but music is very important. : Awww, I happen to like Orlando Bloom (an Legolas) nice body he has. Hehhe… XD And… yea, I'll shut up now so you can enjoy the chapter.

Lolly: I don't know why people are always so fascinated with cliffhangers. It's truly cruel isn't it? Pah! Writers! I probably don't need to say this but, the identity of this "mysterious person" shall be revealed in this chap.

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Wincing as the blade painfully kissed the sensitive skin of her neck, Alice tried her best to shield her eyes from the glaring sun to see the face of the intruder. Not daring to speak a word Alice gulped and sat in fear; the three were caught in a brief moment of anxious silence before the unknown visitor spoke.

"It would do you some good to stay quiet young lady." His voice came in a hoarse whisper, though it was oddly familiar. "You are no longer safely in the confines of the dwellings of Mirkwood Elves and there are creatures far beyond you comprehension here in the wild who would love to taste some sweet youthful flesh. Is that understood?"

A slightly calmer brunette nodded, finally sustaining enough courage to speak. "Emm…and, pray tell, are you one of those creatures?"

A scoff came from the intruder as he withdrew his blade, bending down so his long dark braids poured over his shoulders, a strained smile visible upon his fair Elven face.

"Ranir!" Alice gasped as he extended his hand towards her and helped her up from where she sat. "Geez man! You didn't need to scare me like that! I thought you were some sort of evil dude trying to kill me! What were you trying to pull, putting that blade up against my neck like tha-"

"Hush!" Ranir scorned has he placed his hand roughly against her mouth. He hissed, "Did I not tell you to remain silent?"

Startled, Alice nodded, allowing the fair creature to gradually remove his hand from her. She looked up at his face noticing a solemn look in his eyes such a look she had never seen in himbefore. He had always appeared stern and private in her eyes. He had a look of one who did not seem to feel emotion, despite his youth. Yet now, an entirely new façade blossomed before her eyes, causing twang of sadness in her heart, though she did not know why. Noticing her gaze, Ranir composed himself and once again began to speak, this time allowing his voice to rise above a whisper to a normal volume.

"We cannot speak freely here in the open," He said as he gestured to the wide expanse of fields, rocks and a few scattered trees. "There isn't much time, we must move at once. Though the path I will explain to you will carry you many more leagues than you are required to travel, it is much safer as traveling in a straight course towards the town of Dale is an easy path to stray from."

Ranir said this all very quickly as he gathered up Alice's belongings and straddled them safely to Yeivyl in a manner of swift expertise. He then aided her in mounting the white stallion, and he himself on to his own beast (which Alice had not noticed until that moment).

"_Lye anta noro, Yeivyl._" The young Elf commanded to Yeivyl as both horses cantered off to the South East.

"Wait!" Alice once again clung onto the neck of her beast, grasping for dear life as the horse took off at the same speed as they had while fleeing the spiders. "Ranir, what's going on? Why are we going back in thesame direction as we came? I think we had better go back to Mirkwood along a different route! Ranir!"

Her words fell deaf on the ears of the Elf, as he was intently scanning their surroundings.

"Ey man! We were almost killed by spiders back there!" A feeling of fear rose up deep within the girl as her thoughts turned back to her experience with those frightening creatures. "And Bob, what the hell are you doing? What are part of almost getting killed don't you understand? WHY ARE WE GOING BACK THE WAY WE CAME?"

Yet her questions remained unanswered and for the next few hours, as the sun leisurely rose above them and the winds hurriedly rushed past their bodies, they kept their pace, not once halting for a break. At last they reached the edge of the wood, it's branches seemingly sealing the forest of Mirkwood off from outsiders. There they halted, and as they heard the gurgles that came from the spiders within, Ranir began to speak with urgency.

"I must leave you here." He began to open his pack, sifting through the items within as if looking for something. "You must not enter the forest of Mirkwood, simply follow the edge of the wood until you see the forest river, follow the river to a lake, remember you must _not_ enter the forest at all costs, when you reach the lake, there will be a boat-"

"Wait, wait, hey, slow down." The girl interrupted as the meaning of his words finally began to sink into her mind. "You're… you're not here to take me back to Mirkwood Palace…?"

The Elf sat erect, studying her face; her voice had been so weak and quiet. He said slowly. "Listen…"

"No, no…" Alice's voice wavered as the sudden reality of the implications of having to travel alone in Middle Earth dawned upon her mind. The frightful experience of having almost been attacked by spiders was apparently still fresh in her mind. "Why… weren't- weren't you sent out to take me back…? You're leaving…? Where… what…?"

Ranir sighed, "_Listen_, I cannot fully explain the situation to you at the present."

"Why? What's happening?" The girl tried her best to stay the tears that had collected in the rim of her eyes. "Why can't I go back to Lady Arëdiel's house?"

"I must leave you for now." Ranir's voice and gaze was stern, with a hint of impatience.

"You can't… you can't leave me." She no longer cared about the tears, or the shame of crying in front of this Elf she had only gotten to know for a short while. "What am I suppose to do on my own? What if those spider thingies come after us? I'm not like you Ranir, I can't take care of myself out in the wild like this and I still can't shoot an arrow! Where am I supposed to go? And…and- "

"I will tell you, if you would give me a moment to explain!"

"And why didn't Haldir come? He… he said he would show me something." She choked, wiping her tears away with the backs of her hands as the dreadful feeling of abandonment trembled through her body, reminding her of the times she had gotten lost in the department stores as a child. "Why did he lie like that? Why did they all leave me-"

"Enough!" Ranir shouted; clutching the items he had been searching for in his hands. "We haven't much time and there is much to be done! I will explain everything to you when the time comes, however, for now you must follow my instructions! Haldir will not be coming, and it is time you gave up your dependence on others! Learn to take care of yourself, and stop your childishness!"

Stunned, Alice sat without a word, still slightly choking from her tears.

"Now, I want you to take these," He handed her a parcel of silver and gold coins, and gave her a bow and a quiver of arrows. "As I explained before, I want you to follow the edge of the wood east until you find the Forest river-"

Alice nodded.

"Then follow the river east to a lake, there you will be able to see the slopes of the Lonely Mountain towards the north. Travel straight north towards this mountain and soon you fill come across the town of Dale. There is a smith's shop in that town called the Smokey Anvil, the owner's name is Erlon. Tell him Swiftshade has sent you, and give him three gold pieces, he will then give you a room to stay in. This is where you will await my arrival. Despite the shady conditions of the room, do _not_ attempt to stay at the Drakken Inn. Do you understand?"

Again, Alice nodded, "Dale, Smokey Anvil… Erlon, Swiftshade, give him three gold pieces. Don't go to Drakken Inn."

"Good." Ranir said at last, as he pulled on the reigns of his beast, readying himself for his departure. "You shall find a dagger, and some food and provisions in your pack. Beware of strange beasts, however, if you do not enter the wood you shall be spared of much danger. Use your bow and arrow only for long distances; when a beast is near you, your dagger willfare better in battle. Do not forget what I have told you, and fare well. I go now to the West."

Without another word the Elf took off in the opposite direction, leaving Alice sitting dumbstruck on her horse, trying with all her might to remember all of that she had just been told.

Haldir composed himself after the despairing episode of the night before; never had he allowed his emotions to run so wildly. However, it was caused by rising tensions in his heart. He had had a lot on his mind, with his brother's injuries and the conflicts of both Mirkwood and Lórien. A great battle was forging secretly in the shadows of the woods and mountains; death crept with phantom strides, lurking maliciously beneath their very noses. Now that reason had returned to his mind, Haldir began for once in a very long time to examine his thoughts clearly. For the past three seasons he had been distracted by Alice; by his folly and his pride; he had not righteously seen everything for what it was. Now as things began to catch with him, Haldir of Lórien, in clear comprehension, realized that something was not quite right.

After dressing himself, he hurriedly strode towards the stables, his feathery blond braids flowing urgently behind him. He washastily in need of visiting the shores of the Enchanting River, and again the area where he had left Alice. There we something he needed to see; to understand. Little did he know, that a force beyond his wildest imagination was at work in the woods of Mirkwood.

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**A/N: **AU baby! Please review and leave some constructive criticism! That's all for now. As for sudden mood shift in Alice, her cockiness had to end sometime, besides she's only 14. Don't worry though, she'll be back to her old self soon. 


	17. Interlude

**A/N:** To the non-reviewing readers, I'm sorry I cannot reply to you all more directly (as I don't really know who you all are – and as it seems, there are a lot of you) I only hope you're all enjoying the story and I hope you keep on coming back to read more. XD But feel free to drop a line if there's something you feel you would like to read more of or for me to adjust so it is enjoyable. That's all folks, enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of Tolkien characters, nor do I claim to own them, blah blah blah, so on and so forth.

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**Review Replies:**

emma: XD Yay! I'm glad at least a few people are still here. Hehe, as well, I'm extremely content you're enjoying it. It's like a bonus. P

SaltWater: stares at review for a while at a loss for words whimpers … but I don't have a dog. :'( LOL. Though, I'm going to getting one the moment I move out if this house. AHHAHAHAHA! reads more Hehehe.. the powers that come with being an evil authoress. cackles And don't worry, before long you shall be feeling even more sorry for Alice. Though this chapter seems to be a bit of a filler; but I thought, enough of the too serious stuff and a bit more useless brainless stuff. HAHAHA! XD grins stupidly Oh and why do you have homework? It's like the middle of summer! …Okay, I'll leave you to your speedy quick 5.34 second chapter reading skillz now. P

RoseSong: bows Yes, your majesty? Although I cannot help but assume where royalty would learn words such as those. XP And thank you, I'm glad I haven't lost my erm… touch? And see? See? AHAHAHA! I didn't take another year for an update.

Elvin BlueEyes: LOL, thanks, and I'm glad you were able to find it again. Though how, I can't imagine. There are so many stories on Ffnet. Luck has brought you back to us!

Captain Oblivious: HEY! I remember you from a long long long long long long long LOOOOONG time ago. XD Good to see you back. And… er… I've been not on FF net. LOL I've been indulging myself in art and music. But nevertheless, I have come back too good ol' literature. Nya nya, I apologize for the delays and stuffs.

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I sat silently as Ranir's figure slowly disappeared from my line of sight. After a few minutes of staring stupidly after the only familiar person… Elf… _thing _I had contact with, which I would like to refer to as a time of quiet reflection, I was finally jolted back to my senses by the sudden movement of Bob, Yeivyl, _whatever_. He was shuffling about restlessly, neighing as he stamped his hooves on the glistening blades of grass.

"Oh shut up you stupid cow." I grumbled, my voice nasally, making me slightly aware of my wet and swollen eyes. "What do you want anyways?"

Craning his neck backwards, Bob stared at me in the eyes and grunted a few times.

"Listen? You want me to listen? Listen to what?"

His gaze hardened as he neighed again.

"I am listening… what? What?" I rolled my eyes; I was a bit more irritated since Ranir left me. "I suppose you want me to hear the _song of the winds as they gently danced through the gently sway rivulets of grass,_ as-_as the soothing sunshine swam down from the heavens to kiss the green leaves of the trees-_ and all that poetic stuff because you think us city folk are "detached" and "desensitized"."

But then I heard it and my body stiffened. The strange eerie gurgles we had heard the day before were coming from the malevolent shadows of Mirkwood Forest, their sounds carried towards us by the speeding winds. We both stood and stared for a moment, contemplating what to do next though, Yeivyl still slightly restless.

"You-you… don't think that…" I stuttered as the sounds became apparently louder, as if the creatures were coming closer. "that umm… the spiders… that they'd come out here and… uh… ah-attack us, do you?"

Yeivyl shifted uncomfortably beneath me as I said this, edging slowly away from the forest from which we were about ten meters away. I saw panic in his eyes; louder and louder the gurgles became.

"They can't. They couldn't _possibly…"_

No sooner did those words leave my mouth did we see the rapidly emerging features of the spiders. Their hairy black legs rapidly clawing the ground, their movements shifty and swift. I saw their beady eyes, hungry with bloodlust, as one after another a group of about seven giant ugly black spiders, each about the size of a SmartCar (or Volkswagen Beatle), scampered hurriedly towards us.

"RUN Yeivyl!" I screeched. "RUN!"

Indeed Yeivyl did run in the direction opposite the forest, however it wasn't fast enough. One of the bigger spiders began to gain on us, his legs only a few feet from Yeivyl's tail. He was apparently aware of this and he shrieked loudly.

"I know! I know! I'll get rid of him okay!" I screamed, reaching for my dagger, remembering Ranir's wise words of 'daggers will fare better in close hand combat'.

Yet Ranir's a lying bastard and I soon realized that the dagger wasn't nearly long enough. I was then stuck in some awkward position with my ass sticking out, my whole upper body twisted backwards as I clung on with on hand for dear life, and waved the dagger wildly at the spiders with the other. Indeed, not the way I had imagined myself kicking ass and not nearly as sexy as Legolas did in the movies. _Shit._ However I kept up my efforts, though all in vain for the spiders did not seem at all intimidated. My assumptions were proven correct when another large spider actually lurched out at us, attempting to claw at Yeivyl's rear, his hairy leg brushing against my arm. The nasty black hairs leaving goose bumps all over my body, I shuddered, "God! Go shave!"

We ran farther and farther from the forest, but the spiders did not seem to let up. '_They must be pretty damn hungry!'_ I thought as I opted for another choice of weapon. Stowing my dagger away in its sheath, and ignoring stupid Ranir's advice which I had then and there discredited, I reached for the bow and arrows. I didn't want to let go of the hold I had on Yeivyl with my left hand, but I needed two hands to operate.

"If those Elves can do it, then _SO CAN I!" _Hesitantly I let go of Yeivyl, and held on mostly with my legs. All feelings of fear were eradicated from my mind as adrenaline pumped through my body. I imagined myself shooting perfect shots as one spider fell after another, my dark hair shimmering gracefully with the rushing winds like those girls in the Loréal shampoo commercials. Yet, through the years I've come to learn that I have an overactive imagination and my fantasies were shattered when my first arrow flopped sloppily down, merely bouncing off the spiders. '_Oh crap.' _Thus, abandoning all pride and dignity that I may have had left inside of me, I discarded the attempts of actually shooting the arrows and just took them and started jabbing them at the spiders instead. With luck I managed to stab one of them in one of their many eyes, and it shrieked, receding behind the others.

In my triumph I boasted, "Ha HA! Take that!"

More confident, I began to jab even more and slowly, the spiders began to one by one slow down, each shrieking as I stabbed them in their eyes (it seemed to be their only soft spot). Soon, they were out of sight and we were finally able to breath a sigh of relief. I looked at the arrow that I still had in my hand; it shimmered slightly. '_Funky… he not only gave me a quiver of arrows, he gave me a SHINY quiver of arrows. How thoughtful of him, now, instead of pathetically kicking ass with normal Elven arrows I get to do it with SHINY Elven arrows.' _I ran my fingers along the shaft of the arrow, gingerly feeling it. _'Shiny. So shiny, kinda like magic. Heh… pathetically kicking ass with shiny magical Elven arrows. Yeah, okay I'm stupid.'_ Little did I know that they really were magical, and in fact I was stupid for not noticing that the spider goo had already burned off.

When Yeivyl finally felt that he had put a safe distance between the spiders and us, he slowed down to a trot. However, while pawning over my little victory I failed to notice the direction in which we were actually headed. After many minutes had passed, and the sun had begun to set, I began to grow hungry not having eaten any lunch.

"Yeivyl, Bob baby." I raised my hand to shade my face from the glaring rays of the setting sun to my left. "Let's rest for a while and eat some dinner eh?"

Grunt. Grunt. Uh huh.

"Not safe you say? Why not? We'll just take refuge nears some trees, it's not like we're that far from the forest…" My voice trailed off at that point, allowing myself to have a bit of a glance around. "Hmmm… you know, I've noticed something."

A neigh with a hint of Yeivyl's cruel sadistic sarcasm. _Really?_

"I've just noticed, that… there aren't any trees around, much less a forest." I said rather lightheartedly.

The white Stallion swerved his neck to stare me in the eye. No… _REALLY!_

"Well, that can't at all be good."

Grunt. Nope.

"So…" I tapped my lower lip thoughtfully with my finger. "Why the hell aren't you STOPPING!"

He stopped.

"Okay okay. Let's not panic." I made calming gestures with my hands. "Okay.. okay… which direction have we been heading in in the past few minutes, hours."

Grunt.

"And… what does that mean?"

_Click click_. Nodded head. Neigh. Grunt. Swished tail.

"You have psychological problems because you were born with a big glowing nose so the other reindeers never left you join their reindeer games and you've always had a slight problem with controlling your tail from twitching for fear of it being sheared off be evil violinists wanting strings for their bows?" (A glare from Yeivyl) I surveyed my surroundings, noticing the setting sun to my left. "Okay, okay, no jokes. We've been heading in the same direction this whole time right? Not turning?"

Grunt. Yes. _You idiot..._

"Alright, alright. So… since the sun is to our left. That means that that's west. And that we are currently, and have been this whole time, heading north." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, that's not so bad… no… not so bad… we needed to head north at some point in our journey anyways. Though… that was suppose to be our last step and _NOT THE FIRST_! Okay, okay, breathe. Breathe. Are you breathing Yeivyl? Are you? In and out. Okay… lets calm ourselves."

An annoyed look from the horse.

"So um… what do we do…?" I rubbed my face with my hands as if they rubbing a lamp, hoping from answer would miraculously emerge from my brain. "Okay, so… We… we were suppose to go east, following first the edge of the… river? No… no… err… there was something about a lake. Wait, that's after. Okay… east, following the forest and _then_ the river. Then… what next. Oh, yea, the lake. We see the lake. What about the lake? Do we cross it? No no, I don't remember anything about that. 'Kay, east along forest then river, reach lake… ooh, we see a mountain and head north to the town of Dale. Then, we go to a smith's shop, the-the Smoke… Smoking… Advil? That sounds like some sort of drug. Whatever, the name's not important anyways. Uhh… okay, how about we do this. I can see the mountain, hopefully that's the right mountain (I pointed it out to Yeivyl, it was about northeast from where we were), k. Why don't we head east then, until the mountain's directly north of us. Okay yea yea. Turn now Yeivyl. _Turn now._ Yes good, until our shadows are directly in from of us. Good good. Okay."

Yeivyl turned and then the sun no longer shone so brightly in my eyes, and we were able to see our dark shadows stretched out in front of us. The scenery all around us filled with endless expanses of lazily sloping hills and jagged rocks, not a tree in sight.

"Okay now where was I? Yes, drug dealing Smoking Advil, speak to a guy named… Erlon, tell him Swiftshade sent me. Give him three gold pieces for a room. And… no matter what, don't go to an Inn, Drakken Inn. Yes yes, okay good. There we go. See no problem." I clapped my hands on my knees. "No problem at all…"

"Yeah." My voice began to trail as I studied the monotonous landscape all around us. "Yea… yeah, we're so lost."

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**A/N:** Excuse any errors; I didn't have time to edit this time. 


	18. Fear of the Unknown

**A/N: **this chapter is **dedicated to Proud Muggle whose 18th birthday is on the 7th (today)**, yay! (I hope this posts on time). Happy Birthday! XD Yes I am finally updating, will I update again soon? Hard to tell... exams are coming up and that equals stress. I will try guys, but if anyone has a birthday I'll definitely try to get a chapter up on that day. Just... don't lie or anything to try to get me to update sooner. Yea yea, on with the chapter. It's short though, I need to get my groove back in terms of writing.

**Disclaimer:** Ditto from the previous chapter.

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Alice managed to reach the Smoking Anvil eventually but not with a few scraps and scratches of course, though if ever asked how she came to possess them, she refuses to tell. Tempted as she was by the splendours of the Drakken Inn, the silken drapery that hung from the windows, the enchanting size of the structure itself and the golden sign that hung out front, she followed Ranir's instructions and advanced to the Smoking Anvil.

Pale, it was, in comparison to the Inn. The windows were stained with dirt and grime, an 'n' was missing from the wooden sign, and there was not a soul within its shabby quarters, save the owner and Ranir.

The Elf looked strangely ashen and ill, but it did nothing to hide back his annoyance.

"I see that you have taken your time in your attempts to follow my instructions." The dim candle-light and his pale skin gave Ranir a menacing, yet strained look, nonetheless he invited the girl to sit with him. "I've been awaiting your arrival."

Alice stood, her face rigid and unmoving. In reality, it had taken her one month by our time to reach Dale from her previous location, despite the fact that it should've only taken a week. Indeed, upon closer inspection one would notice that her dagger was bloodstained, her clothes were torn, her hair was shorter than had been and there was only one arrow left in her quiver. She stood, shaking from exhaustion and defeat, but she refused to sit down.

"I got lost." She replied shortly, unsure of how to phrase the thoughts squirming in her mind.

"I see... I had presumed that my instructions were quite clear." Ranir sighed wearily. "But perhaps... with someone of your intellect..."

Alice couldn't hold it in any longer, the pent-up frustration and anger all came fuming out. "Oh shut up! You have no right! NO RIGHT! If it hadn't been for you stupid Elves I wouldn't be here in the first place! How _DARE_ you patronize me!"

"Our fault? Was it not you who behaved so poorly that you had to be "escorted" from the Kingdom?" Ranir countered.

"What?" Alice staggered backwards. "I-is that why they all ditched me in the middle of the forest?"

Ranir gave a sarcastic smirk.

"Oh." The girl mumbled. "So Haldir _did_ lie to me about the whole "trip" thing..."

"Yes, he has." Ranir said. "Truly, Thranduil came to see you as a spy or a threat to his domain. Thus, he asked his precious, trusted Haldir to escort you out. He was kind enough to let you take Yievyl and your few possessions though."

"Mm... yea thanks, came in handy too." She smiled at this, the first time she had smiled through the whole conversation. This struck Ranir as quite odd. He had thought she'd be more distressed, as she had been a month ago when he decidedly left her. "Well, Thranduil seems care a great amount for his people. However, I'm not the threat or the danger. Those are the ones who are sneaking right under his nose. Isn't that right Ranir?"

The Elf tensed with this remark. "Are you trying to be smart? I hardly think that attempting to aid the weak and the unjustly accused can be considered as "sneaking beneath his nose"."

With this Alice felt a slight tug of guilt, but with the horrifying information she stumbled upon in the last month she had gotten lost, the feeling brushed off with ease. "Don't play dumb. I'm your responsibility, you have to take care of me because not doing so would be beyond cruel. Because of you I almost died of two spider attacks, because of you I've been living a dangerous life for the past months. You and your accomplices are the reason I'm here!"

Both Ranir and Erlon, the owner, became white at the remark. Hurriedly, the short man lit the remaining candles in the room as if a sudden chill had come upon them. He kept mumbling, 'speak of it not, speak of it not'.

Ranir chuckled hesitantly, "Of course.. of course I am, it is I who gave you the instructions to come here-"

"I'm not talking about that!" The extra light set the girl's face aglow as she attempted to constraint her emotions, to prevent her from hurting him, from breaking something, from crying. "You stupid idiotic ass! What the hell did you think you were playing at! It's because of you _Elves_ that I'm here. Not here in this dingy hellhole! Here in Middle Earth!"

"I-I don't know.. what-"

"You're the ones who summoned me here! The ones who sacrificed other creatures lives for your stupid petty games!" She couldn't stop it now, all the things she had learned came tumbling out with rage. "I don't know what it is you guys wanted to bring here, but I certainly wasn't it. You didn't know what to do with me, did you? But you knew I had to stay somewhere you could keep a close eye on. So you informed Haldir that you had heard rumours about a strange creature in Mirkwood forest. You knew the other guard Elves were itching for some sort of clue as to the status of the Dwarves. So hoping that they had a Dwarven spy they came looking for me. But instead they found a girl. And even then you knew it too that even the great Thranduil could not so cruelly turn away an innocent girl."

"I..I-I-"

"But I've been wondering, how long did you think I would've been able to stay there? Was it one of _you_ who urged Thranduil to kick me out?"

"NO! I swear!" Ranir gasped. "We... we were afraid, you see. We didn't really know what you were, though you looked a normal human girl. We wanted to keep a close eye on you and find out as much as we could."

"Then why didn't you just ask when you were with me?" Alice crossed her arms.

"We were waiting for Lucylle's return..." Ranir rung his hands. "We did not know how to approach you, Lucylle seemed to know everything. In fact I was extremely frigh- startled when you approached me that very first time."

"So you're all afraid of me."

Ranir swallowed hard and clenched his teeth. "... yes."

"I think.." Alice murmured quietly as she sat down. "I think I deserve to know what happened. Tell me what you guys did to bring me here."

"Well... I don't thi-"

Ranir was cut off by a sleek breathy tenor voice coming from a tall, older Elf – around forty years old by our standards – who had emerged from a door that had lead to the back. "I think my dear," He voiced as his clear blue eyes pierced into the girl's. "that we ought to know how _you_ came to know about _us_ first."

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**A/N: **Short I know, but I see plot-development! I'd write more but it's already 1:00 a.m! Ahh...I'd forgotten the joy of writing. Well. Hope you enjoyed! Don't be afraid to criticize me (constructively). Lol. Later! 


	19. Threatened

**A/N**: It's been a long time. Here's my sister's rendition of this chapter, she's 13, the same age I was when I started this story:

Alice turns around only to find that she is trapped in between two wizards. " Me thinks I have seen these two wizards before". It's Dumbledore and Snape! How did they get here? "Oh look, up there in the sky. There is a flying unicorn in the sky!" Brain fart! " Now Alice tell me the truth, where is it!" Dumbledore whispered forcefully. " What are you talking about? I thought I was in an Inn ? I'm just a normal, crazy, cow-like child? "answered Alice. "Tell me where it is! I know you took my diary and hid it somewhere Alice!" Snape said menacingly. " I wrote all my brain farts and all of my fantasies about unicorns and Lily Potter in my diary"

**Disclaimer**: Same as the previous chapters.

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"I don't have to tell you anything." Alice challenged. "You're the ones who did wrong, not me. You're the ones who made a mistake, and now you have to fix it to cover your asses."

Lucylle sighed thoughtfully, his demeanor relaxed. "_We_ are not obliged to follow through with any such course of action. I thought that perhaps you would be of some use to us, however... seeing as you are merely nothing more than an average girl, we have no reason to keep you here."

This comment surprised Alice, "So you'll send me home-"

"Ha!" Lucylle laughed heartily at her naivety and a thin smile crept upon his face. "No my child, it is much easier to _kill_ you. Ranir, seize her."

Alice's eyes widened in fear as Ranir reluctantly lunged towards her, his reach missing her by only an inch. In her haste to get away from him, Alice tripped backwards against a set of stools and fell painfully on her left arm, yelping in pain. She saw Ranir make for her again with the intent to restrain her and hastily drew her dagger, waving it threateningly in front of her as she scrambled backwards. But Ranir was much more skilled than she was, with more speed and accuracy than she could process he grabbed and twisted her right wrist painfully causing her to drop her dagger and gripped her throat with his other hand.

Alice struggled to breath as sheering pain shot through her arm, she was convinced he would break it. She looked up at Ranir, pleading for freedom as she tried to pull is arm from her throat with her free hand, but his face was blank and his soul was unreachable.

Lucylle slowly walked over to where they were, his presence looming over them as he drew his sword and held it so the tip of the blade was only inches from her nose. "Are you ready to die?"

"No..." She choked as tears streamed from her eyes, even after she had survived the wilderness she had never prepared herself to die at the hands of an Elf. But a fire still burned within her, she dug her nails forcefully into Ranir's arm and tried her best to kick the kneeling figure on top of her in the balls.

"Oh... how surprising, there is still some fight in you." Lucylle raised his eyebrows and paused slightly. "As you can see..." He mused as his blade effortlessly cut a shallow path along her right cheek, drawing blood as it went, small distorted screams escaped her mouth. "As you can see my child, there is no hope in attempting to resist us. I was hoping that the forest creatures would have disposed of you, but seeing as how a foolish child such as yourself was able to discover our plans, I have need to rethink our actions and allies..."

He lifted his blade, ending the cut just next to her lips.

"So I will spare the life that you have fought so pathetically to keep and in exchange, you will lead us to every individual who has helped you or given information to you in any way and you will kill them for us. We might create some use for you yet." The older Elf offered.

Ranir released his grip slightly to allow Alice to respond. She gasped and coughed, "N-no! Never! I'll never help you!"

Lucylle knelt down until his face was so close that she could smell his rancid breath, "You've no choice in the matter" He said easily and rammed the butt of his blade against the side of her head.

The inn faded away as darkness engulfed her.

...

Alice awoke to find her hands chained to a large metal pole in what looked to be a storage area. She lifted her right arm to touch her cheek and found it bruised purple with the right side of her face was caked in dried blood.

The pain had diminished somewhat but she was still incredibly sore. Before Alice had time to process the events that had recently occurred to her, a tall dark-haired Elf burst through the door. He released the chain from its pole and pulled, "If you will not come willingly, I will drag you."

The girl hesitantly rose to her feet, "Where are you taking me?"

They walked down the dimly lit halls of the dirty inn, the strange Elf leading her along like a prisoner. After a long pause he finally said, "Today is the day you will begin killing all your friends."

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**A/N**: Next chapter will be released on May 29th. Sorry for the rather dark chapter, I'm still just warming up after a 6 year hiatus. Things will get lighter in the next chapter, I promise. That last line sounded like something out of The Hunger Games and the dark-haired elf, in my mind, had a sexy Trinidad accent. LOL.


	20. Teapots

A/N: ... I got hooked on cat videos again.

Disclaimer: Same as before.

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"I have no friends!" Alice retorted as she was being thrown over the shoulders of the tall elf and carried through the inn to the stables. "I'm serious, I didn't get any help, so unless you want me to start stabbing the air you're gonna have to call off this, 'you're gonna kill all your friends' thing."

The elf remained silent. As they exited the inn the girl realized that everything was dark. _Its night time? Was I only out for a few hours? Or is it so early in the morning that the sun isn't up yet? Those jerks! Waking me up before sunrise and ruining my beauty sleep... oh wait, I woke up on my own, heh._

Alice's mood had not improved significantly since the day before, though her captors seemed uninterested in killing her and she very much doubted that they would be able to locate the few random people that helped her, she didn't want to take any chances and tried her best to bluff her way through. Although there was the crazy hermit who tried to grope her butt that she wouldn't mind seeing beaten up.

There were only four of them, Ranir, the evil elf that threatened to kill her who Alice assumed was Lucylle, and the elf that carried her.

"So ladies" she commented as the elf who had been carrying her draped her over a horse stomach down. She was pushed forward towards the horse's neck before the elf mounted and took the reins. "I'm sorry to break up the slumber party but our next activity seems kinda boring, how's about we just practice putting make up on each other instead? I know some of you really need it."

"Prattle on all you must, but no one can hear you." Lucylle mumbled tiredly as they all began to move away from the inn and away from the town.

Alice could see Yeivyl where she had left him near the edge of town looking inquisitively at her. _Don't follow us Yeivyl..._ She commanded him silently as the group cantered off in an unknown direction.

...

It had been a month since Alice's death and Haldir found refuge from his conflicting thoughts in his work. Though he had seen death before this was the first time that it had struck him so forcefully. The whole chain of events leading up to that specific event seemed quite off. First Thranduil's sudden and dangerous command to get rid of her, and then there was the dangerous swarm of spiders that they had encountered. The creatures rarely strayed far from their territory during the day.

He tried to bring his mind back to the present moment, looked at the neighbouring trees to ensure his fellow comrades were still in position. Just as he finished checking up on his team did he see three figures canter into his surveying range. _Not dwarves._ He sighed mentally as he lowered his bow, but just as he was about to jump down from his tree when he heard a familiar song that made his hair stand on end. Up through the canopy drifted a young girl's voice, singing, "I'm a little teapot short and stout..."

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A/N: Lucylle and his crew are either seriously stupid or super ingenious and have a crazy plot up their sleeves. Either way... HALDIR! I'm going to try to stay as close to canon as possible from what I can remember but the website that I used to use for info seems to have disappeared so I make not guarantees. Next chapter May 27th or earlier.


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